1
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Now we come to tonight's|absolute highlight.

2
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,879
I ask the audience:

3
00:01:07,879 --> 00:01:13,400
Shall I slice up my assistant|lengthwise or crosswise tonight?

4
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Crosswise!

5
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Fine. That makes a change. I sawed|him up lengthwise last night.

6
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:36,480
Ouch! Can't you be careful!|- Hurry up, the audience is going to sleep!

7
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,000
You can use this trick on your neighbour.

8
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:03,200
The one you've told a hundred times not|to park his ugly Mazda in your parking lot.

9
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:10,599
There always comes a time when you say|to yourself: I've had enough!

10
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:18,680
If you saw him up, make sure|you do it on a Monday.

11
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So you can give it to the|refuse collection on Tuesday.

12
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There could still be some|movement inside the bag.

13
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So the dustmen don't have a shock,|just give it a few bashes.

14
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Have you gone mad?

15
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,000
If the bag's too heavy to carry out,|there's an easy trick:

16
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,080
Kick it, and it'll go|out by itself.

17
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My assistant, Roni Beck.|The one with the funny face.

18
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I told you a hundred times:|Don't hit so hard!

19
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It has to look real.

20
00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:18,479
It's over! Find yourself|another fool.

21
00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:21,000
Come on, they want an encore.

22
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,400
Go fuck yourself!

23
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Misses Beck.

24
00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:20,399
Good night. - Thank you.

25
00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:28,000
Come on, lad, you can come out.

26
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Sleep well. - You too, Mum.

27
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,800
Gosh! That Nepal sure|blew my mind.

28
00:05:55,079 --> 00:05:58,199
I was half gone already.

29
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,680
I flew over the Alps on|a purple white horse.

30
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What are you doing? - Extinguishing.

31
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Come, Max. Come along.|- Who are you anyway?

32
00:06:16,079 --> 00:06:21,279
Roni Beck, Mrs. Beck's son.|I popped in to see her.

33
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At three in the morning?|- Why are you in your underpants?

34
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,199
Is he in his underpants?

35
00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:30,199
I was having a shower when|I smelt smoke.

36
00:06:30,199 --> 00:06:33,000
My shower at home is out of order.

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Visiting time is from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m.|Please keep to those times. - Yes.

38
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,800
Enjoy your meal!

39
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I have some sad news for you.

40
00:07:05,399 --> 00:07:09,800
Mrs. Gosswiler from room 304|has left us for ever.

41
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In deep gratitude I should like|to mention at this point...

42
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:21,399
that she has left her entire property|to our old people's home.

43
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We would of course be pleased if|Mrs. Gosswiler's example were to catch on,

44
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:32,000
as you see, everybody benefits by it.

45
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:37,000
I should like to point out that we could|economize on many things in this home...

46
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,879
if some didn't live at|the expense of others...

47
00:07:40,879 --> 00:07:42,879
who obey the house rules.

48
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:48,680
I'm thinking about Max Wiederkehr,|who never puts out the light...

49
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,600
and smokes in his room|and endangers our lives.

50
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,879
Or puts music on too loud.|- Exactly.

51
00:07:57,399 --> 00:08:01,199
Last night at half past nine,|I was already asleep...

52
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:04,680
when Wiederkehr started again|with that damn shit.

53
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:11,879
Mr. Bissinger, please! - He turned up|that damn Negro music again!

54
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,279
This isn't the moment for that.

55
00:08:16,279 --> 00:08:22,480
Let's have one minute's silence and|remember the deceased Gertrud Gosswiler...

56
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,879
whom we all miss very much.

57
00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:38,399
It's no big thing to make|fresh mashed potatoes.

58
00:08:38,399 --> 00:08:40,399
Then leave it!

59
00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:45,480
You pay enough. Just you|tell them downstairs.

60
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:55,600
Ah, that's what I thought. That's what's|going on. Do you like it at least?

61
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,399
Yes, it's very good.

62
00:08:57,399 --> 00:09:05,200
Mr. Gr�tzer, my son came to see me and|he likes mashed potatoes very much.

63
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,080
How long's this been going on?|- What?

64
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What do you think?

65
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:14,399
Roni's having a hard time at the moment.

66
00:09:14,399 --> 00:09:18,399
He was on stage for three years|with this Messier...

67
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and he kept treating him|worse and worse.

68
00:09:20,799 --> 00:09:23,679
Now at last he's left him.

69
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:27,080
You mean he lives here now?

70
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,600
You mean he lives here now?

71
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,799
You know, he's so sensitive...

72
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and God knows he didn't have|an easy childhood.

73
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Mum, please!

74
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So you're an artist who lives|on his mother's pension.

75
00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,200
You're welcome to do so.|But not here.

76
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,679
Mr. Gr�tzer, it's only until|he's on firm ground again.

77
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:56,679
I'm convinced he'd enjoy|helping out in the home.

78
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,000
No, that's impossible.

79
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:04,399
I need all the time I've got to|write a new solo programme.

80
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:11,000
This is an old people's home,|not a cultural centre.

81
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What an idea! I'm not|going to work here!

82
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It wouldn't hurt you.

83
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Pick it up and fold it up.

84
00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:48,080
Why give me Roni Beck?

85
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,879
He may be nice, but I need a|skilled and qualified orderly.

86
00:10:51,879 --> 00:10:54,399
Impossible! We can't afford that.

87
00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:57,480
Roni Beck only costs us|board and lodging.

88
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:03,080
They cause more work than what|you get out of them.

89
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:09,000
You keep making decisions without me.|Are we a team or aren't we?

90
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It's me who has to train him.

91
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:14,200
What else could I do? I can't charge|still more for coffee.

92
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,480
Think up something else.|- Give Beck a chance.

93
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,679
He has a comical face,|elderly people like that.

94
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:27,000
What's that to us? We slog away day and|night and have no time for each other.

95
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:32,000
But you don't care about that,|do you, Serge?

96
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:40,000
Thank you for the welcoming applause...|for the warm welcoming applause.

97
00:11:42,399 --> 00:11:46,799
Please, I'm working on my solo programme.

98
00:11:46,799 --> 00:11:49,600
I thought you'd become reasonable.

99
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:53,279
We of Securitas had great problems|with our image.

100
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Won't you accept the job in the home?

101
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:58,200
You know exactly what|the stage means to me.

102
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:02,399
Burglars thought that Securitas...|- I don't want to pester you.

103
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:07,600
But you're not funny.|You're just like your dad.

104
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:16,399
He could tell his customers the best|jokes, but nobody laughed.

105
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:40,080
You know what this is? This is the new,|official uniform of the Swiss Securitas.

106
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,200
For a long time we had big problems|with our image...

107
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because cabaret artists and burglars|made fun of us.

108
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:55,799
People thought that Securitas only employed|former taxi drivers and caretakers.

109
00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:58,399
Excuse me, the dining hall|is still closed.

110
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I've only come to get my cap.

111
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What are we coming to?

112
00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:12,080
There is practically no|more Swiss staff.

113
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12'000 francs for coffee powder.

114
00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:24,399
That means every old man would have to|drink about 65 cups of coffee a day.

115
00:13:24,399 --> 00:13:31,279
That little blue spruce at Christmas|can't have cost 720 francs!

116
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We instruct you to radically cut the costs|and you extend behind our backs.

117
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,279
You've created a first-class home.

118
00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:42,799
Don't you think I noticed that the old|people suddenly have 59 TV channels?

119
00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:48,279
New cables had to be laid,|that's awfully expensive!

120
00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:50,399
Satellite dishes would have cost more.

121
00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:53,000
That's throwing money out of the window!

122
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,600
Old people only watch Swiss TV anyway.

123
00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,679
Excuse me. Can you spare a moment?

124
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Just a minute.

125
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:10,080
Did he pinch something again?|- You should keep an eye on him.

126
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I'm sorry. But at least you always|manage to return the things.

127
00:14:13,279 --> 00:14:16,879
It involves work! We have to|fill in a report each time.

128
00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:20,480
You mustn't do that, Max, or|we can't let you out anymore.

129
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:26,480
And what's this bill for?|- I'll show you. Come along.

130
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:30,200
Room 341, it's unbelievable!

131
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It's unbelievable. That's 3,000 francs!|What did he do?

132
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Well I never!

133
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:46,600
Christian Willimann, City Police.|Who's that?

134
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:52,200
I didn't notice anything.|Honestly. Come on.

135
00:14:55,799 --> 00:15:02,799
We're not paying for curtains and carpets.|It's out of the question.

136
00:15:02,799 --> 00:15:05,200
Mr. Wiederkehr, I've had enough of you.

137
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,480
Do you mean the earrings? In former days|I'd have been applauded for that.

138
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,799
No, the fire in your room.

139
00:15:13,399 --> 00:15:17,879
Mr. Wiederkehr, you know that smoking in|the room isn't allowed in our home.

140
00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:21,879
If you don't obey the rules, you'll|be put in a nursing home...

141
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,879
where you'll be kept under control.|- We're taking care of him, Mr. Ernst.

142
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It looks like it.

143
00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:35,000
What's the use of this stuff?|It only collects dust in the rooms.

144
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,000
It gives our pensioners pleasure.|- Pleasure, eh? - Yes, pleasure.

145
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,080
This isn't a house of pleasure, Mr. Gr�tzer.

146
00:15:44,879 --> 00:15:50,000
So we don't have to watch burglars|making off across the roofs anymore...

147
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,279
we've now been supplied|with a square barb.

148
00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:57,080
We swing it up into the gutter.

149
00:15:57,679 --> 00:16:01,279
That shouldn't have happened.

150
00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:03,600
Still, it's good you see this...

151
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,679
for if the barb gets hooked|in the wrong place...

152
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:12,200
we can just tear a foil off|these special shoes...

153
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:20,399
exposing a super adhesive surface with|which we can comfortably climb up walls.

154
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:22,879
Hello. - Who's this?

155
00:16:22,879 --> 00:16:27,000
Our new orderly. He acts as a|comedian in his free time.

156
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,080
He knows he mustn't practice here.

157
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,000
Mr. Ernst, I sent a fax...

158
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,600
that the mechanism of the automatic|doors has to be replaced.

159
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,080
Put your budget straight first.

160
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:53,080
If you haven't got it under control by|the end of the month, you'll cop it.

161
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,200
Don't be afraid, Mrs. Rossi...

162
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,880
we all have to go sometime.|And we're taking good care of you.

163
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,079
I'm not worried about dying.|I'm worried about my nephew.

164
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:34,799
I'm worried he'll come in here at night|and take away everything I have.

165
00:17:36,279 --> 00:17:40,400
You don't know what kind|of a person he is.

166
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,799
Make sure your money doesn't|get into wrong hands.

167
00:17:43,799 --> 00:17:46,400
Many people leave it to us.

168
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:52,400
I thought about that, too.|It's OK in the safe, isn't it?

169
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,200
Have you hidden the key well?

170
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,279
Look there, in the crib.

171
00:18:02,279 --> 00:18:04,799
Now take Jesus out.

172
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,680
Good evening, Mr. Klein. Are you OK?

173
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,680
Could you please bring me a salmon canap|with an asparagus and some horseradish...

174
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,599
and a quarter-litre of Chardonnay.|Thank you.

175
00:18:23,599 --> 00:18:26,680
You'll come down for dinner tomorrow.|Will you promise me?

176
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,599
I can't because of the time difference.

177
00:18:29,599 --> 00:18:33,400
I'm connected with Wall Street.

178
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:42,000
He thinks he's still working|at the stock exchange.

179
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:52,680
Mrs. G�rtler, don't keep|watching such sad movies.

180
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:04,279
She needs a little help now and again.

181
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:17,880
They're still in.

182
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,880
Take them out and rinse them.|- I can't do that.

183
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:32,599
You loosen here a bit, and take them|out with the other hand.

184
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,200
They don't bite.

185
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,799
l, too, felt disgusted at the beginning.

186
00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:49,680
When you like the people|you don't mind.

187
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:57,079
How long does it take till you like them?|- Not as long as you think.

188
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:05,799
With the old uniform, we often hid|until the burglars had left.

189
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,480
Once I was scared and|helped them load.

190
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:15,799
But now with the new uniform|we have regained our self-confidence.

191
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:20,680
The only problems arise when we guard|politicians or businessmen.

192
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,599
At the last economic summit in Davos,|the president of the World Bank...

193
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:30,079
refused to speak if I stood|behind him like this.

194
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,680
Ladies and gentlemen, that's it,|thank you for coming.

195
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,880
I'll be performing here again tomorrow.

196
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:44,079
If you liked it, please tell your|friends and colleagues about it.

197
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:49,880
Thanks. Thanks a lot.|You were a perfect audience.

198
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,079
You want to put on another show tomorrow?

199
00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:03,680
The advance booking is worse|than today. - How many?

200
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,480
Only one. And he has the|same name as you.

201
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,880
I'm sure that's Anton, my cousin.|Good, I haven't seen him for a long time.

202
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,599
The people didn't like it.

203
00:21:14,599 --> 00:21:17,480
It's hard to create an atmosphere|with so few.

204
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,480
I must say, I expected|more of you.

205
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,880
It's better if you don't|perform tomorrow.

206
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,079
It would be a waste of electricity.

207
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,200
Mr. Beck, it wasn't all that bad.

208
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,799
Really. Quite witty.|- It was nice of you to come.

209
00:21:48,799 --> 00:21:52,480
If somebody from the home performs|I always go and watch.

210
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:56,200
I liked it. But the costume|is a bit exaggerated.

211
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,200
That's the funny thing about it!|- Yes, but it's implausible.

212
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:09,079
The tragic thing about a Securitas would|come over better with an ordinary uniform.

213
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,680
How nice to see you.|How are things?

214
00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:18,680
You run a youth centre, don't you?|- No, an old people's home.

215
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:23,279
Oh, that's nice, too.|- The reason I've come to see you...

216
00:22:23,279 --> 00:22:27,200
At your festival...|- Take a seat!

217
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,680
Well, at your festival,|unknown artists can perform...

218
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,480
in the small tent after the|main show, can't they? - Yes.

219
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,880
There is such a comedian in my home.|- A 90-year-old?

220
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:44,279
He's 35. I know him through his mother,|who lives in the home.

221
00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:49,000
He has such a funny face that you laugh|before he says anything.

222
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:57,680
The artists performing in that tent are|considered personal tips in the business.

223
00:22:57,799 --> 00:23:00,880
Tell me when your comedian's|putting on a show.

224
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,599
That's why I'm here.

225
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:11,279
Franz Hohler is here.|It's about an evening of songs...

226
00:23:11,279 --> 00:23:13,480
Tell him I'm abroad.|He can send a video

227
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:19,680
I told him that last time.|- Tell him I'm in the Engadin.

228
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,400
Have you got a video?

229
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:29,480
For Christ's sake, do I have to prove|all the things I've done with a video?

230
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:42,200
Guy Weber from the executive board, Z�rich.

231
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,799
I'm calling because of your|application for a town casino.

232
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:52,200
I can only give you that if the event|has a bit of a cultural note.

233
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,599
I know a very interesting comedian.

234
00:23:55,599 --> 00:23:59,599
His name's Roni Beck.|- You can picture that?

235
00:23:59,599 --> 00:24:02,880
Fine, fine. We'll do that.

236
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,599
There, you can call him.|You'll have to do the rest.

237
00:24:10,599 --> 00:24:13,279
Couldn't you go and|watch him there?

238
00:24:13,279 --> 00:24:20,400
No. If someone from the town goes there|it'll become too official.

239
00:24:24,599 --> 00:24:27,400
Are you protecting us on stage|from women who go wild?

240
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,880
No, I'm a comedian,|I'm performing here.

241
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:38,599
Could you please close this for me?|- No problem.

242
00:24:38,599 --> 00:24:40,200
Oh, sorry.

243
00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:45,799
I know, you weren't waiting|for Securitas.

244
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:51,599
The Sonnyboys aren't quite ready.|Another quarter of an hour.

245
00:24:51,599 --> 00:24:54,400
Because the box with the|dog bones got lost.

246
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,599
I told them to stuff something|else down the front...

247
00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:02,279
a sock or a bicycle inner tube.

248
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:06,599
I can tell you something in the meantime,|I haven't been with Securitas for long...

249
00:25:06,599 --> 00:25:09,000
I was a fitter at the nuclear|power station Beznau.

250
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:15,480
A few months ago, shortly before knockin off,|I saw the big boiler was leaking.

251
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,880
I thought I'd repair it the next day.

252
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,680
But that same evening Eugen,|my best colleague, celebrated...

253
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:29,000
his 30th birthday and said|at the locals' table...

254
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,000
in the B�ren that all drinks|were on him.

255
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,680
Down with your pants!

256
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,000
Quiet, please! - Down with your pants.

257
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,799
Please be quiet for those|who want to listen.

258
00:25:42,799 --> 00:25:47,599
Down with your pants!|Down with your pants.

259
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,799
OK, OK, yes, I'll do it.

260
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:05,799
But I want to tell you something first.|You're very primitive women!

261
00:26:52,599 --> 00:26:55,279
Didn't you think it was funny, either?

262
00:26:55,279 --> 00:26:59,400
Mr. Beck, I think you're good.|Honestly. You're very talented.

263
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:04,880
And brave! But the nuclear power station|thing was out of place.

264
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,799
It's an old subject.|- It's still a topical subject.

265
00:27:09,799 --> 00:27:16,680
The problem is that I keep having to|perform in the wrong place.

266
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:34,599
Are you drunk? - Don't keep leaving your|slippers in the middle of the room.

267
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:51,000
I can see. These performances|make you terribly unhappy.

268
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,279
Mum, I'm completely happy.

269
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,079
Thanks.

270
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:29,200
Look: My Bio Tech Options|have risen by 66%.

271
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:34,000
Congratulations, Mr. Klein,|you did very well.

272
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,480
You're a comedian, aren't you?

273
00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:44,079
Do you know what that is?|It's 20 m long and smells of piss.

274
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,200
A polonaise in an old people's home.

275
00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:54,680
You can have that one.

276
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:15,279
You scared me! I thought you were|the women's murderer.

277
00:29:19,079 --> 00:29:23,480
I know this one. Afterwards he strangles|a woman with a tie.

278
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,599
Can't you stay here|until the film's finished?

279
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:31,599
Don't be afraid, in the end the murderer|is in flames and falls from a bridge...

280
00:29:31,599 --> 00:29:36,279
right in front of a fast train in motion.

281
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,000
What are you doing here?

282
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,000
Weren't you told? - What?

283
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:48,599
The vice-manager called me personally.|He'd rather have me.

284
00:29:48,599 --> 00:29:53,880
Sorry, I'm awfully sorry. But be glad|you don't have to go on stage.

285
00:29:53,880 --> 00:30:00,799
Business functions are always stiff|affairs. But they pay well.

286
00:30:02,279 --> 00:30:05,599
You can watch if you like.

287
00:30:10,599 --> 00:30:14,200
Turn the other way for a sec.

288
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:30,279
We need a volunteer who has a spare leg.

289
00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:35,680
Vreni, Vreni, Vreni...

290
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:40,599
I'm sure you mean the national|councillor Dr. Vreni Escher. .

291
00:30:40,599 --> 00:30:43,200
Mrs. Escher, please step forward.

292
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,680
She's on the toilet.|- Then we'll wait.

293
00:30:55,799 --> 00:31:00,400
Mrs. Escher, will you please come to me.

294
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,279
What do you feel like|before being sawn up?

295
00:31:24,279 --> 00:31:28,200
Like before an election campaign.

296
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,279
Go ahead.

297
00:31:39,799 --> 00:31:45,000
Put your head down...|fingers out of the way...

298
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,000
Toi, toi, toi!

299
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,599
Curtain!

300
00:32:19,799 --> 00:32:22,799
Tough luck for Messier.|- You said it.

301
00:32:22,799 --> 00:32:26,400
I'm glad I didn't have|to perform there.

302
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,599
With short shows you|don't really get going...

303
00:32:28,599 --> 00:32:32,200
and some of the people don't|really want to see you.

304
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,480
Which would be the right place?

305
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,480
In Lucerne, the theatre by the water,|that would be great.

306
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,079
Let's make sure you can perform there.

307
00:32:40,079 --> 00:32:42,880
Forget it. Much too expensive.|- Money's never a problem.

308
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,079
For your show in Lucerne.

309
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,599
Thank you.

310
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:40,079
Imagine me as a Securitas guard on stage.|I'd say to the audience:

311
00:33:40,079 --> 00:33:45,599
You know, sometimes I take Argo with me.|He's a very good Alsatian.

312
00:33:45,599 --> 00:33:50,480
But he sometimes has problems with his food,|especially when he's had cabbage.

313
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,880
It causes terrible flatulence.

314
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,200
Cabbage always gives him|terrible flatulence.

315
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,400
Argo and I recently went to|a Tucholsky evening together.

316
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,480
They had to interrupt for a quarter|of an hour to air the place.

317
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,599
Funny, isn't it?|- Too innocent.

318
00:34:07,599 --> 00:34:11,280
We need something with punch or|the people will go to sleep.

319
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,199
Then you write a sketch|if you think you can do better.

320
00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:17,400
That's just what I'll do.

321
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,199
Was that necessary?

322
00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:28,800
That fool has no idea|what people want to see.

323
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,679
I'm worried about Mrs. Sp�hni.|She hasn't been eatin for three days.

324
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:36,880
Shall I send for Huber?|I asked you something.

325
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:41,000
Whether I should send for Huber.

326
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,199
The health insurance won't pay for|any more psychotherapy.

327
00:34:44,199 --> 00:34:49,280
Give her some more Serapran. What do you|want me to do? Let me write!

328
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,800
I'll get myself another man.

329
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:59,400
When I was lighting it, I noticed that|a rocket had got up my jacket sleeve.

330
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:04,400
And when I wanted to put it out, my left|arm was already dangling from the church.

331
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,480
What you've written is too macabre.

332
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,599
It depends on how you present it.|Right, Max?

333
00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:12,199
It all depends on how you present it.

334
00:35:12,199 --> 00:35:19,280
But without the torn-off arm. What if someone|in the audience has had something amputated?

335
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,199
Listen, now I'll tell you something.|I work my ass off for you.

336
00:35:23,199 --> 00:35:26,480
You live here free of charge.|I spend all night writing a text for you.

337
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,079
I find one of the best theatres for you.

338
00:35:29,079 --> 00:35:31,400
I get Guy Weber to come. And Max.

339
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,400
Do you know who Max is?

340
00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:39,599
He worked for the Variety's for 30 years|with the best people of that time.

341
00:35:39,599 --> 00:35:43,800
You have to identify yourself|with the character.

342
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,679
Here's Bissinger's cap.

343
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,199
That'll help you. Play him.

344
00:35:49,199 --> 00:35:51,880
A real petit bourgeois.

345
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:56,280
Where's my cap?|I want my cap back immediately.

346
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,400
Which hand do you want?|- This one.

347
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,800
Look here. - Give me my cap!

348
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,079
Stupid supermarket cap!

349
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:07,199
Take your fucking fingers off my cap!

350
00:36:07,199 --> 00:36:09,199
Your fault, you leave it lying around.

351
00:36:09,199 --> 00:36:13,280
It's not your business where I put it!

352
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:18,000
That's enough. I'm sorry, Mr. Bissinger,|we have a meeting.

353
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,800
Asshole. - All right.

354
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,800
What about the torn-off arm?

355
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,199
I won't play that.

356
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,280
The first time is always the worst.

357
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:41,000
You yourself are always the biggest risk|that something might go wrong.

358
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:47,480
Take a drag. That's always best.|I have 60 years experience.

359
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,400
Be just like Bissinger.

360
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:57,800
They'll wet their pants with laughing.

361
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,079
What does Bissinger do with his hands?

362
00:37:07,079 --> 00:37:12,199
He scratches his ass.|- Then you do that, too.

363
00:37:14,599 --> 00:37:19,079
Eight ... nine ... ten thousand. Okay?

364
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,480
We have lots of reservations for tonight.

365
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,079
I don't believe it!

366
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:33,679
Someone's smoking on stage!|- All right, I'll go outside.

367
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,480
Good luck. - Thanks.

368
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,480
Seat 34, that's where Guy Weber will be.

369
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,679
He's coming to Lucerne|especially for you.

370
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:48,800
I'll send the punchline over there.

371
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,599
What did I say!|Someone with an arm off.

372
00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:34,199
That's different.|Maybe a skiing accident.

373
00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:36,880
A skiing accident in Africa, eh?

374
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,800
Then cancel the whole shit.

375
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,280
You can tell them.

376
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:53,079
There's nothing nicer for me than great|fireworks after a victory of the SVP.

377
00:38:53,079 --> 00:38:59,679
Since foreigners are only allowed to sit|in the smoker's department in trains...

378
00:38:59,679 --> 00:39:03,880
I bought 50 Heavy Star Wars Rockets.

379
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,199
The fireworks were great...

380
00:39:06,199 --> 00:39:10,880
Although one rocket|tore off my left arm.

381
00:39:16,599 --> 00:39:18,199
Carry on!

382
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:26,000
It went quickly. When lighting it I noticed|that a rocket had got up my sleeve.

383
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:32,199
When I wanted to put it out, my left arm|was already dangling from the church.

384
00:39:32,199 --> 00:39:36,079
I must say, it really bothered me,|because it was my left arm.

385
00:39:36,079 --> 00:39:39,599
And my new Swatch was on it.

386
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:58,280
Excuse me if I interrupt|Roni Beck's programme.

387
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,800
I'm the Securitas of the house,|and I've lost my dog.

388
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:06,880
Don't worry, it's a very good Alsatian.|What he likes best is cabbage.

389
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:11,599
Just a minute! Stop! I have|an important announcement to make.

390
00:40:11,599 --> 00:40:14,280
The Chapel Bridge is on fire!

391
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,679
I'm serious. I don't belong|to the programme.

392
00:40:17,679 --> 00:40:22,280
Please leave the auditorium without|panicking. We're in the danger zone.

393
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:28,679
This is no joke! Please use|the emergency exits! You, too.

394
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,800
I'm Peter. We have to|close off up there.

395
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,400
I won't be a minute.

396
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,599
That bridge could have waited|two hours before burning.

397
00:40:58,599 --> 00:41:00,400
You said it!

398
00:41:03,679 --> 00:41:09,199
Unbelievable! Within a few years, the|Chapel Bridge is burning a second time.

399
00:41:09,199 --> 00:41:14,280
A live broadcast with Lucerne's tourist|office director, who is in Sri Lanka right now.

400
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,679
Mr. Illi, you have been exceptionally lucky.

401
00:41:17,679 --> 00:41:22,199
Are you on holiday there so that you have|an alibi at least this time?

402
00:41:22,199 --> 00:41:25,199
Did you go out and smoke on the bridge?

403
00:41:25,199 --> 00:41:29,000
Yes, I did. But that can't be...

404
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,599
That's between ourselves!|- Sure.

405
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,000
The wood was fireproofed, we invested|500,000 francs worth of fire sensors...

406
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:42,480
and 200,000 francs worth|of hidden video cameras.

407
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,800
The cameras are burning now anyway.

408
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:50,400
That was Mr. Illi from Colombo. Here some|photos of the bridge after the first fire.

409
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:54,480
What a terrific fire!|I saw the beginning of it.

410
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,400
A pity it's closed off now.|- The comedian with the funny face.

411
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,599
I'm sorry I didn't see the show.|But Serge told me a lot about you.

412
00:42:01,599 --> 00:42:06,079
What was that about my face?|- It was a great success.

413
00:42:06,079 --> 00:42:08,480
The audience raved about|the one-armed pyromaniac.

414
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,400
You must invite Roni Beck to|the theatre festival...

415
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,880
that'll be a hit!|- That would be unprofessional.

416
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,480
I have never engaged anyone without|first having seen his act.

417
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,199
I'm sorry.

418
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:28,400
Serge, give me a call when|he has his next performance.

419
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,000
I was such a fool as to play on his side...

420
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:39,000
when the twirp wasn't even there!|- It could be worse.

421
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,599
If the bridge hadn't burnt|we'd have had a full house.

422
00:42:43,599 --> 00:42:45,480
But it did burn.

423
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,400
Did I set fire to it?!

424
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,800
You're his guardian.|- Stop picking on Max.

425
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,679
I'm sorry I ruined your evening.

426
00:42:54,679 --> 00:42:59,880
In life it's common that things don't|turn out as you'd like them to.

427
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:03,199
Look what I've turned out.

428
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:09,079
Open your hand. Gone!|But watch it. Now...

429
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:13,800
it's back again. All sorts can happen.

430
00:43:15,199 --> 00:43:18,800
Is there something in my eye?

431
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,800
I'm sure you got many kisses|from women like that.

432
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,000
Lots of slaps, too.

433
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,280
The one-armed act is a hit.|You never had such a bright idea.

434
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,079
They clapped like they always do.

435
00:43:34,079 --> 00:43:37,400
You never had as much applause on stage|as you did tonight.

436
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,599
The beginning was good. But you never|know where to put your hands.

437
00:43:41,599 --> 00:43:44,480
Put yourself more in Bissinger's place.

438
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,079
What? Do you expect me to wear|Bissinger's pissed-in pants?

439
00:43:48,079 --> 00:43:51,000
Max as a pro has an eye for it. Be glad|that someone tells you, damn it all!

440
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:58,400
It pisses me off when everybody tells me|what's funny and what isn't.

441
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,079
Do you want to change?|Your clothes are in the car.

442
00:44:07,079 --> 00:44:11,480
Come back. I'm sorry|about the bridge.

443
00:44:13,599 --> 00:44:15,679
You fetch him.

444
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:37,079
I know what you want to say. - What?

445
00:44:37,079 --> 00:44:42,000
I'm not to just go off in a huff.|Whatever I do misfires.

446
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,000
I'm 38 and I still live with my mother.

447
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000
That's no life!

448
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:52,599
I always make the same mistakes.|I'd like to go on holiday once.

449
00:44:52,599 --> 00:44:57,000
I got a postcard from Greece the other day.|I studied it for a long time.

450
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,400
I'd love to go to Greece once.|But I can't even afford that.

451
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,199
Or I'd like to have a child once.

452
00:45:05,199 --> 00:45:09,599
I know what you're thinking.|It isn't because of the money, it's me.

453
00:45:09,599 --> 00:45:12,400
You're right. That's how it is.

454
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,400
Can we get going?

455
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,280
How can you stand it with such a bugger?

456
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,400
Serge doesn't realize what he's got.

457
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,800
He'd be even more of a bugger|without you.

458
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:27,000
I know, I talk too much.|OK, I won't say anymore.

459
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,280
Just pretend I'm not here.

460
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,400
Come on, let's go.

461
00:45:49,679 --> 00:45:55,880
What's all this about? Are you in|a huff? What ever for?

462
00:46:00,079 --> 00:46:04,079
I've had enough! - Then walk home!

463
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,280
You always know better!

464
00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:27,000
I need some fresh air!

465
00:46:27,079 --> 00:46:29,679
I got terribly annoyed.

466
00:46:29,679 --> 00:46:32,199
I spent all day looking for my cap.

467
00:46:32,199 --> 00:46:37,000
Max came home at midnight and turned|on his Negro music full blast.

468
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,800
I went downstairs, and there was my cap|hanging on the hall-stand.

469
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:47,400
As if nothing had happened. It can't|go on like this, don't you think?

470
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,880
With him. - Yes, impossible.

471
00:46:52,079 --> 00:46:54,480
Ah, the comedian.

472
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,599
Do you know why my father|got married again at 95?

473
00:46:58,599 --> 00:47:02,199
No idea. - Because he had to.

474
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,480
You can have that one. As a present.

475
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,400
Thank you. Good night.

476
00:47:36,199 --> 00:47:38,199
What happened?

477
00:47:38,679 --> 00:47:42,880
I wanted to see if I could still|dance in these shoes.

478
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:48,079
I look forward very much to|our ball each year.

479
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:29,079
There is more Rimuss and Willisau biscuits.

480
00:48:29,079 --> 00:48:34,480
The main prizeof the tombola|is the handy foot...

481
00:48:36,079 --> 00:48:40,000
massage outfit worth 250 francs.

482
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:49,280
We wish you more fun and entertainment|with our sensational Billy Banger Band!

483
00:48:57,679 --> 00:49:01,880
You should have become a policeman.

484
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,599
Such a ball goes beyond all finances.

485
00:49:04,599 --> 00:49:08,079
All I can say is that the|music was very reasonable.

486
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:11,400
Come on! You have four men there|with complete equipment.

487
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:16,599
Why didn't you ask around? There's always|someone who can play the concertina.

488
00:49:16,599 --> 00:49:21,480
Elderly people also have a right|to more demanding music.

489
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,800
Listen, Mr. Gr�tzer, somebody complained...

490
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:29,800
that you refused to open the safe|of a lady who died.

491
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:36,400
Look here, Mrs. Rossi told her nephew|something about a hidden key...

492
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,599
but then she died without|being able to tell him.

493
00:49:39,599 --> 00:49:41,400
We know that.

494
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,079
May I?

495
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,800
I'm not going to entrust you|with my dance partner!

496
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,880
Do you have any manners at all?

497
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:18,880
This is already the fourth dance!|- Come on!

498
00:50:19,199 --> 00:50:23,000
You're beginning to get on my wick!

499
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Don't think you can talk big just|because you're wearing a uniform.

500
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:33,400
You belong in a reformatory!

501
00:50:40,199 --> 00:50:43,000
Did you hurt yourself?

502
00:50:58,199 --> 00:51:02,280
Mr. Gr"tzer, do you know why I haven't|given you notice yet?

503
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:09,400
Because I only need a little more evidence|to be able to have you arrested.

504
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:14,599
And I'll make sure it takes place here|in front of all the old people.

505
00:51:14,599 --> 00:51:19,679
You received the pre-estimate for overhauling|the automatic doors, didn't you?

506
00:51:19,679 --> 00:51:21,800
That can wait.

507
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:33,000
You can go out through the boiler room.

508
00:51:44,199 --> 00:51:47,280
Look where you're going!

509
00:51:50,599 --> 00:51:55,280
You never thought men would still|fight over your old mother, did you?

510
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:59,679
Oh yes, you're still very attractive.

511
00:52:01,079 --> 00:52:06,000
That's the nicest song|that was ever written.

512
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:10,199
When I die, make sure that|they play it at my funeral.

513
00:52:10,199 --> 00:52:13,480
A little headache and you think of dying!

514
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:17,000
At my age you have to be|prepared for anything.

515
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,800
Don't forget about the song, will you?

516
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,800
We're not going to play|"Je t'aime" at your funeral.

517
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,199
Now that we're talking about it,|promise me something.

518
00:52:26,199 --> 00:52:29,800
Learn finally to do a proper job.

519
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,199
Find yourself a wife and have a family.

520
00:52:33,199 --> 00:52:38,199
Forget about the comedian.|You're on the wrong track.

521
00:52:38,199 --> 00:52:42,000
You'll never be happy like that.

522
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:48,000
On the side of your father|they're more depressive.

523
00:52:52,079 --> 00:52:55,280
They hardly ever laughed.

524
00:52:55,679 --> 00:52:59,800
Roni, you're not funny.|Will you promise?

525
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:03,280
You won't die yet. You still have 20|nice years ahead of you.

526
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,679
Will you promise now?|- I'll think about it.

527
00:53:06,679 --> 00:53:11,079
Don't think about it, promise. - Yes.

528
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:16,599
Okay.

529
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:25,800
How's your head?|- It doesn't hurt anymore.

530
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:33,599
Where are you off to at night?|- None of your business.

531
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,880
Do you want a drag? - Shall I?

532
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:01,480
Try.

533
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:31,599
There's nothing nicer than a woman|like you in one's arms.

534
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:15,599
What's the matter?|- I can't, not on my mother's bed.

535
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,880
I know a better place.

536
00:55:24,199 --> 00:55:27,199
Listen, I can't. - Why?

537
00:55:36,199 --> 00:55:40,599
Come on, say so, you don't like me.|- Yes, I do.

538
00:55:40,599 --> 00:55:43,599
You have another woman.

539
00:55:47,199 --> 00:55:51,679
I've never had an affair with a woman.

540
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,880
It isn't funny. - Yes, it's funny.

541
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,679
Shut that noise off!

542
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,000
You don't take me seriously.

543
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,400
Open the door and let Mrs. Beck come out.

544
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,800
Or you'll cop it!

545
00:56:15,679 --> 00:56:19,400
That's enough, Mr. Bissinger,|you'll wake the whole house.

546
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,079
Go back to your room.

547
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:20,199
She'll always be your guardian angel.

548
00:57:33,199 --> 00:57:38,079
Elisabeth Beck passed away peacefully|at the age of 73...

549
00:57:38,079 --> 00:57:43,480
after a life of fulfilment.|- Passed away peacefully?

550
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:47,400
You make me laugh!|Max here has her on his conscience!

551
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:49,800
He fucked her to death!

552
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,400
The whole home heard how they had|it off with each other. r

553
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,199
Let me say something.

554
00:57:55,599 --> 00:58:01,000
Eli's last night was the|best night of her life.

555
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,599
Eli died as a happy woman in my arms.

556
00:58:04,599 --> 00:58:10,400
That's all I have to say.|Reverend, you may continue.

557
00:58:12,199 --> 00:58:16,079
Although we grant you peace,|our heart is full of grief.

558
00:58:16,079 --> 00:58:22,079
But we are not standing here|as people without hope...

559
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:32,679
...without hope. We join|the apostle in saying:

560
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:38,000
I am certain that neither life|nor death can part us...

561
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:42,400
from the love of God that is|in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

562
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:46,599
This is Mr. Rossi, the nephew|of the late Mrs. Rossi.

563
00:58:46,599 --> 00:58:48,679
You know what it's about.

564
00:58:48,679 --> 00:58:51,199
This isn't the right moment, Mr. Ernst.

565
00:58:51,199 --> 00:58:54,599
The key to the safe|comes from a Swedish firm.

566
00:58:54,599 --> 00:58:58,400
It should be here any day now.|- I'm not interested in that.

567
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,280
I want the 10,000 francs out|of my great-aunt's safe.

568
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:05,280
Do you realize where you are?|Don't you have any respect?

569
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:09,400
You either take part in the funeral,|or you have no business to be here.

570
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,599
I give you 3 days to settle it.

571
00:59:11,599 --> 00:59:14,400
Go now. And you, too.

572
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:19,400
Let us pray together|like Jesus taught us:

573
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:24,880
Our Father, which art in heaven,|hallowed be thy Name...

574
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:31,880
thy kingdom come, thy will be done,|in earth as it is in heaven.

575
00:59:32,599 --> 00:59:36,000
He'd have to act for 10 minutes?|Yes, that's fine.

576
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:41,000
He'd act even longer for such a fee.|Roni Beck will gladly do that for you.

577
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,599
Thank you. Goodbye.

578
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:50,800
Hey, I want a contract.|- What kind of a contract?

579
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:53,480
As an orderly. I won't perform again.

580
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:57,599
Are you joking? - No, I'm serious.

581
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:07,000
We have to get those 10,000 francs|in again that I invested in you.

582
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:10,000
As an orderly you only|earn 1,800 francs a month.

583
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,599
You can deduct something every month.

584
01:00:12,599 --> 01:00:14,800
That isn't enough.|I need the money now.

585
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,880
But I'm not performing anymore.|- Roni, that's easy money.

586
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,199
Surely you can do that for me.|- I'm sorry, Serge.

587
01:00:21,199 --> 01:00:24,280
I gave it a good thought. It's over.

588
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:28,199
You really don't want to?|- I don't want to anymore.

589
01:00:28,199 --> 01:00:30,400
I can't anymore.

590
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:46,599
Max?

591
01:00:49,079 --> 01:00:50,199
Max?

592
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:53,480
Max?

593
01:00:54,599 --> 01:00:55,679
Max!

594
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,599
My God, Max! I still need you!

595
01:01:05,599 --> 01:01:09,000
I got you! Did you think|I'd kicked the bucket?

596
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,199
Max, you can't do that.|You must help me.

597
01:01:12,199 --> 01:01:14,880
I need a good trick.

598
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:24,679
Thank you very much, Mum,|for being so honest with me.

599
01:01:24,679 --> 01:01:28,199
You're right, show business isn't for me.

600
01:01:28,199 --> 01:01:33,480
I've started to work as a male nurse,|I also change nappies.

601
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,599
It still puts me off a bit.

602
01:01:35,599 --> 01:01:43,199
But once you've done it a few thousand times,|you get to like doing it.

603
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,000
Stay here.

604
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:53,679
Don't leave.

605
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:16,199
I don't want to think about him.|But I just have to.

606
01:02:16,199 --> 01:02:20,400
Please find something funny for me.

607
01:02:21,599 --> 01:02:24,880
We have compiled a light|entertainment programme for you.

608
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:30,880
Ladies and gentlemen,|enjoy yourselves with Roni Beck!

609
01:02:36,199 --> 01:02:39,400
An animal film! - No, no.

610
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:48,280
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.|You know there are hidden forces in everybody.

611
01:02:48,280 --> 01:02:53,480
Forces that are so strong that they can not|only make a little mouse disappear...

612
01:02:53,480 --> 01:03:00,599
but also a live cow, our Lisi|from the Oberland, weighing 500 kg.

613
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:07,400
But to make this cow disappear,|I need your active help.

614
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:11,599
I'll come to you quite spontaneously.

615
01:03:11,599 --> 01:03:15,880
No, I'm sorry, unfortunately,|you can't concentrate sufficiently.

616
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:18,599
You keep thinking about the lady|back here in the same costume.

617
01:03:18,599 --> 01:03:22,400
Must have been in the sales, eh?

618
01:03:23,599 --> 01:03:27,079
Here, prominent figures. Good evening.

619
01:03:27,079 --> 01:03:29,880
Dr. Meier, your husband?

620
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:34,880
Your nephew, I see!|Is that what you call him?

621
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:40,599
Prominent figures are a problem,|they can't concentrate either.

622
01:03:40,599 --> 01:03:44,599
They're too busy with themselves.

623
01:03:44,679 --> 01:03:48,880
What I'd like best now is|quite an ordinary person...

624
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:52,079
a real, frustrated petit bourgeois...

625
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:55,679
whose colleagues are glad|when he's on holiday.

626
01:03:55,679 --> 01:03:59,480
I know this gentleman.|I'm surprised he's gone out for once.

627
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:05,480
But I know that he's known as a|very easy-going guy where he works.

628
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,679
Mr. Ernst, would you please come|on stage with me?

629
01:04:08,679 --> 01:04:12,679
No, I don't want to play the fool.

630
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:18,280
Lisi, we've only just been|to the ladies' room together!

631
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:21,880
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ernst|is rather inhibited.

632
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:27,599
He'd love to come on stage with me|but he needs some support.

633
01:04:27,599 --> 01:04:31,199
Let's have a big hand for him.

634
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:39,880
Mr. Ernst, that's your applause!

635
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:45,079
Close the button! - Leave me alone!

636
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:50,280
You'd better look after the home.

637
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:56,079
I'm doing this as a hobby.|I hope you can keep the two apart.

638
01:04:56,079 --> 01:04:58,280
Don't you dare take me for a ride!

639
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:03,199
Mr. Ernst, I ask you first of|all to touch our Lisi...

640
01:05:03,199 --> 01:05:07,480
and to confirm that this cow is real.

641
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:15,079
Yes, yes, it's real.|- Thank you. Now please come to me.

642
01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:20,000
Now I'd like you to fully|concentrate on our Lisi.

643
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,480
Complete silence in the audience please!|Mr. Ernst...

644
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:30,679
imagine that with your mental power alone|you manage to make this cow disappear.

645
01:05:30,679 --> 01:05:35,199
Do I close my eyes?|- Close your eyes. Open your mouth.

646
01:05:35,199 --> 01:05:40,880
Yes, that's good, Mr. Ernst,|a bit more, a bit more.

647
01:05:48,599 --> 01:05:52,480
Super. Your applause, Mr. Ernst.

648
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:07,280
And if you look up, you can wave to Lisi and|maybe she'll return a little greeting.

649
01:06:07,599 --> 01:06:10,679
The flowers are for you!

650
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:26,280
Wait a minute, there's something else!

651
01:06:31,599 --> 01:06:34,880
Damn it, what's this muck?

652
01:06:37,199 --> 01:06:40,400
You're a goddamn bastard!

653
01:06:42,079 --> 01:06:46,800
I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Ernst.|That really was a little mishap.

654
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:54,400
You'll pay for this!|- Okay then, let's have a big hand for Mr. Ernst!

655
01:07:00,199 --> 01:07:04,679
Now you're definitely going too far.|Stop it immediately!

656
01:07:04,679 --> 01:07:08,199
What's the idea, performing under my name?

657
01:07:08,199 --> 01:07:11,400
Apologize to me immediately and tell|the audience who you are.

658
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,480
Why? You refused to perform again.

659
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:17,199
I need the dough.|- You earn enough as director of a home.

660
01:07:17,199 --> 01:07:21,000
Shall I tell you how much?|- I don't care a damn!

661
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:25,199
Shall I tell you how much I earn?|- You needn't tell me anything.

662
01:07:25,199 --> 01:07:27,079
Nothing at all, you would-be clown!

663
01:07:27,079 --> 01:07:29,800
If I hadn't helped you... - Helped?!|- Let me finish.

664
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:33,000
I wrote a super show for you.

665
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,480
A tactless one! - People split their sides!

666
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:38,880
Especially the one-armed black man|in Lucerne in the first row.

667
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,599
He's on about the one-armed man again!|- He was doubled up with laughter.

668
01:07:42,599 --> 01:07:46,599
If he had two arms he'd still be clapping.

669
01:07:46,599 --> 01:07:50,599
I know this man. He's a tragic case,|take a good look at him.

670
01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:53,079
He's 38 and has never had a girlfriend.

671
01:07:53,079 --> 01:07:56,880
When I met him, he lived in a|home with his mother.

672
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:58,400
Shut up.

673
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:03,599
You're a mediocre director of a home and|on stage you have the aura of a compost heap!

674
01:08:03,599 --> 01:08:07,679
He wanted to become a comedian.|But you should have heard his jokes!

675
01:08:07,679 --> 01:08:14,880
The only funny thing is his face,|and especially when he gets mad.

676
01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:19,680
Enjoy yourselves with Serge Gr�tzer.

677
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:27,000
Look out, the cow!

678
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:35,199
What a mess! Good heavens,|where's the farmer?

679
01:08:35,199 --> 01:08:40,199
I'm sure he's sitting in the foyer|drinking champagne...

680
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:42,399
with Roni Beck.

681
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,800
Where are you going? - Away!

682
01:08:56,800 --> 01:09:01,479
I thought he'd told you. - I'll kill him!

683
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:06,279
Come on, let's go home.|- Why? Do you want to help me pack?

684
01:09:06,279 --> 01:09:09,279
Yes, if you want me to.

685
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:32,000
When Ernst was on stage,|I couldn't help myself.

686
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:36,079
I'll apologize to him tomorrow and|I'll say it was all my fault.

687
01:09:36,079 --> 01:09:40,680
You know, it would be terrible|if you weren't the boss here anymore.

688
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:44,000
I asked others my age in other homes.

689
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:48,680
You don't mind if I smoke now and again.

690
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:51,800
That's right. But it depends where.

691
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:55,680
Come to my room. I've got a wonderful|Afghan to put you to sleep.

692
01:09:55,680 --> 01:10:00,199
That's just it, Max. I don't want you|to smoke in the room. Will you promise?

693
01:10:00,199 --> 01:10:03,079
Yes, yes, don't worry.

694
01:10:13,079 --> 01:10:15,680
No more problems in your mother's bed?

695
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:18,880
No, it's got a new cover.

696
01:10:24,079 --> 01:10:28,680
If you want to wait a bit, just say.|There's only one first time.

697
01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:31,000
No, it's OK now.

698
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:36,880
But you'll have to take off you pants.

699
01:10:45,199 --> 01:10:48,800
Serge, it isn't what you think.

700
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:53,000
Never mind now. The home's on fire.

701
01:11:01,199 --> 01:11:07,800
Have you got a breathing apparatus? I want to|try to extinguish the fire from inside.

702
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:11,600
My name is Bissinger. Alois Bissinger.

703
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:17,399
I was platoon leader in the voluntary fire|brigade in Bassersdorf for 25 years.

704
01:11:17,399 --> 01:11:19,000
Come on, Mr. Bissinger...

705
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,279
the firemen know what to do.

706
01:11:21,279 --> 01:11:23,279
They've no idea.

707
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:26,399
The way they do it, the water damage will|be worse than the fire damage.

708
01:11:26,399 --> 01:11:30,000
Don't be afraid, they're pros!

709
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:35,199
No problem! I used to do my trapeze|act without a net.

710
01:11:35,199 --> 01:11:39,880
Come on, hurry up! - Max, get a move on!

711
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:42,680
I've got to concentrate.

712
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:49,479
We've been ready for some time! Jump!|- Now! Please! Keep quiet!

713
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:52,399
Max! Now stop smoking!

714
01:11:53,079 --> 01:11:56,880
Your time's running out! - I won't be long.

715
01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:00,000
I've got to take a run-up.

716
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:01,680
Max! - Max!

717
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:34,399
Roni, come with me, please.

718
01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:48,680
Three days ago Max said to me that he wanted|everybody to laugh at his funeral.

719
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:54,479
He wanted you two to put on|a funny act at his grave.

720
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:58,279
Did he really say that? - Yes.

721
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:04,000
I'll go along with that. - And what shall we do?

722
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,600
Think up something.

723
01:13:17,399 --> 01:13:22,199
Where's the money? - We'll soon find out.

724
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:36,079
I'm sure Mrs. Rossi didn't put|this in here herself.

725
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,800
I can't think of anything.

726
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:41,199
There's nothing funny for a funeral.

727
01:13:41,199 --> 01:13:43,800
Do you think Max felt something?

728
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:47,800
No, I don't think so.|He was completely stoned.

729
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:51,680
Dying is shit! - A load of shit!

730
01:13:52,399 --> 01:13:53,800
Cheers!

731
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,399
I have an idea after all.

732
01:14:01,399 --> 01:14:06,800
You could play an angel who suddenly|appears behind the priest and says ...

733
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:09,600
Mr. Gr�tzer, you're arrested.|- Come with us.

734
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:13,399
The dentures were your last joke, Mr. Gr�tzer.

735
01:14:13,399 --> 01:14:16,800
Look out, the door's broken.

736
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,479
Can't you be careful!

737
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:39,079
Max Wiederkehr wished to be buried here|next to Elisabeth Beck.

738
01:14:39,079 --> 01:14:42,479
We'll take our leave of him.

739
01:14:46,279 --> 01:14:50,079
You were taken from the earth|and shall be returned to the earth.

740
01:14:50,079 --> 01:14:54,600
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

741
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:56,279
Wait, stop!

742
01:14:57,399 --> 01:15:01,079
Please don't throw anything else down.

743
01:15:01,079 --> 01:15:04,279
It's disgusting, because of the disposal|tax on refuse bags many...

744
01:15:04,279 --> 01:15:07,279
people use funerals to dump their rubbish.

745
01:15:07,279 --> 01:15:10,079
This grave was dug yesterday...

746
01:15:10,079 --> 01:15:13,000
and in no time there's a bag in it.

747
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:14,800
Bags wouldn't be so bad.

748
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:20,079
But yesterday, there were three old TV's|in two other graves.

749
01:15:20,079 --> 01:15:26,680
And last week a man threw his old winter|tyres in his wife's grave.

750
01:15:26,680 --> 01:15:30,479
We wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't dug|them up again two days later...

751
01:15:30,479 --> 01:15:35,279
because he'd mixed them up with|his new summer tyres.

752
01:15:35,279 --> 01:15:37,279
Let him down.

753
01:15:45,199 --> 01:15:50,399
Ladies and gentlemen.|We had some laughs today.

754
01:15:50,399 --> 01:15:55,880
But I'd still like to say|that it's a sad occasion.

755
01:15:55,880 --> 01:16:00,000
Max, I wanted to apologize to you.

756
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:04,479
I already miss you.

757
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:09,279
Thank you, that's it.

758
01:16:18,199 --> 01:16:21,800
In the name of the management,|I would like to offer my condolences...

759
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:25,479
on the death of Mr. Wiederkehr.

760
01:16:25,479 --> 01:16:30,399
But despite this sad moment I have|to make an important announcement.

761
01:16:30,399 --> 01:16:32,479
Can everybody hear me?

762
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:36,600
What did he say?|- He said, "Can everybody hear me?"

763
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:40,600
The management has decided to have our|old people's home demolished.

764
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:44,479
After the fire, it isn't worth|having it renovated.

765
01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:49,800
The social welfare office will look for|a solution for each one of you.

766
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:53,399
Those who can still walk will be placed|in the surrounding homes...

767
01:16:53,399 --> 01:16:57,399
the others will be put in one of these|nursing homes for the chronically ill.

768
01:16:57,399 --> 01:16:59,600
Learn to piss straight first!

769
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:03,000
It is still uncertain|what will happen afterwards.

770
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:11,000
But everything indicates that a multi-storey|car park will be erected here.

771
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:21,600
Fucking disgusting!

772
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:29,600
It should be easy for you as a stock market|pro to take over this real estate holding.

773
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:31,800
You really are a comedian.

774
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:40,800
I don't want any securities that are burdened|with an unprofitable old people's home.

775
01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:45,199
Leave it here. I'll see what I can do.

776
01:17:48,479 --> 01:17:55,399
Mr. Beck, come quickly! Mrs. Sp�hni has|barricaded herself in her room.

777
01:17:55,399 --> 01:18:00,199
What have you got there? - A rifle.|- Don't do anything silly!

778
01:18:00,199 --> 01:18:05,600
I never do stupid things.|- Come along, Mr. Beck.

779
01:18:09,079 --> 01:18:11,000
Mrs. Sp�hni!

780
01:18:13,279 --> 01:18:16,680
Mrs. Sp�hni, don't do that!

781
01:18:19,479 --> 01:18:21,800
Get off that bed, please.

782
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:27,199
You're the only one|who talks to me now and again.

783
01:18:27,199 --> 01:18:30,680
I won't have you around in a new home.

784
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:36,600
I promise I'll often come and|see you in the new home.

785
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:41,800
There's no point in it.

786
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:45,800
I'd rather die than watch them...

787
01:18:46,399 --> 01:18:49,880
take away my nice furniture.

788
01:18:53,279 --> 01:18:56,279
Mr. Bissinger, calm down.

789
01:18:56,279 --> 01:19:01,000
The 4th mountain battalion didn't fear|Hitler, either. I'll put that...

790
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:06,079
redevelopment twirp down there in his place!

791
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:11,279
No more shooting! - This is my hideout!

792
01:19:13,279 --> 01:19:15,880
Bissinger, stop it!

793
01:19:18,479 --> 01:19:21,680
Take care of Mrs. Sp�hni.

794
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,399
Everything's settled.|The takeover has been arranged.

795
01:19:26,399 --> 01:19:28,600
Don't talk rubbish.

796
01:19:28,600 --> 01:19:34,880
Go to the stock exchange and|you'll find out who Klein is.

797
01:20:04,079 --> 01:20:08,079
The door's out of order. Tilt it.

798
01:20:10,079 --> 01:20:14,880
It still won't go. - Then stand it on end.

799
01:20:17,199 --> 01:20:20,399
Come along, Mrs. Pfluger.

800
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:34,800
Just a minute! This goes with it.

801
01:20:35,199 --> 01:20:38,079
Oh, he's slipped down.

802
01:20:44,000 --> 01:20:45,479
Goodbye.

803
01:20:50,199 --> 01:20:57,399
Mr. Bissinger of all people, who fought|so bravely for the survival of our home...

804
01:20:57,399 --> 01:21:00,800
unfortunately had to leave us for ever.

805
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:07,399
His kind heart could no longer put up with|the excitement of the past few days.

806
01:21:07,399 --> 01:21:14,479
Let us all be silent for one minute|and think of Alois Bissinger.

807
01:21:25,199 --> 01:21:26,800
Thank you!

808
01:21:29,279 --> 01:21:36,199
Now it is Mr. Klein's turn to speak.|Mr. Klein, go ahead please.

809
01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:40,479
Ladies and gentlemen.

810
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:45,880
I took over this estate yesterday.

811
01:21:48,479 --> 01:21:56,600
All the dismissals of the occupants of this|old people's home are therefore invalid.

812
01:21:56,600 --> 01:22:00,880
So we can all continue to live here.

813
01:22:05,680 --> 01:22:13,479
As I shall still be working for the stock|exchange, in the derivative business...

814
01:22:13,479 --> 01:22:21,079
I shall now hand over the management|of the home to Mrs. Gerda Gr�tzer!

815
01:22:32,399 --> 01:22:36,079
Congratulations, Mrs. Gr�tzer!

816
01:22:46,079 --> 01:22:51,279
Thank you. - That's all right. Bye everybody.

817
01:23:02,199 --> 01:23:05,800
Congratulations. - Thank you.

818
01:23:49,680 --> 01:23:55,279
Dearest Gerda, a few months have passed|since our parting.

819
01:23:55,279 --> 01:24:00,680
It was hard for me at the beginning,|believe me.

820
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:05,000
I know that I reacted rather strongly|when you said you didn't...

821
01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:08,279
want to act as my substitute mother.

822
01:24:08,279 --> 01:24:11,399
I think it was good you threw me out.

823
01:24:11,399 --> 01:24:16,600
I would have become too dependent on you.|Especially sexually.

824
01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:21,279
Tell me, Jan, do you know of a man|who is 38 and still a virgin?

825
01:24:21,279 --> 01:24:29,279
No, there's no such thing in Holland.|But in Switzerland ... it's possible.

826
01:24:32,479 --> 01:24:35,479
I happened to meet Serge here in Hamburg.

827
01:24:35,479 --> 01:24:40,479
We talked about you a lot|and almost became friends.

828
01:24:40,479 --> 01:24:44,399
Gerda, we're doing well.|We're successful here abroad...

829
01:24:44,399 --> 01:24:48,680
and get a heavy applause every night.

830
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:16,279
Gerda, I have found my place in this world.

831
01:25:16,279 --> 01:25:20,279
I thank you for that and also for|helping me to finally begin...

832
01:25:20,279 --> 01:25:23,399
standing on my own feet.

833
01:25:24,279 --> 01:25:28,279
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