1
00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:04,839
Perfect.|Just perfect.

2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,960
Okay Dove,|move closer to your sister.

3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,240
Mom, give me a big smile.

4
00:00:10,439 --> 00:00:14,320
Great. We're beautiful! Now|let's get one with the groom.

5
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,320
Where is Nathan?

6
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:18,600
Nathan?

7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,239
Nathan?

8
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,440
Sweetie?

9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,120
Stan, could you make this quick? I'm|kind of in the middle of something.

10
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,640
Katya, I'm in jail,|I'm your tax accountant...

11
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,159
and you're probably|going to get audited.

12
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,479
-ls that good enough?|-Your point is?

13
00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:39,759
You need to start|a tax journal...

14
00:00:39,759 --> 00:00:42,240
and write down all|of your expenses.

15
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,600
Darling,|I'm not the bookkeeper.

16
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,000
I have a frantic social|calendar, a thriving career...

17
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,039
and a scandalous love life.

18
00:00:49,039 --> 00:00:51,759
Well, unless you want to add 'imminent|prison sentence', you'll do it.

19
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,840
Also...|-Katya?

20
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,439
Oh my God!

21
00:00:58,439 --> 00:01:00,520
What are you doing?

22
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,479
Taking a breather. The best man|really lives up to his title.

23
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,400
He's not the best man!

24
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,920
I'm Nathan, the groom.

25
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,640
My God. I'm sorry.|I really am.

26
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,599
I missed the wedding.|Just got here.

27
00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:17,799
Great! You found him!

28
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,959
Thank you.

29
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,159
Congratulations.

30
00:01:26,159 --> 00:01:28,000
Good afternoon, everyone.

31
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,360
Katya...

32
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,800
Katya!|Katya, wait!

33
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,080
Would you stop stalking me?

34
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,759
It's over, okay! Don't|I have a restraining order?

35
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,560
Yes. Sweetie, come on...

36
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:46,439
I'll never get a girl.

37
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,000
It's a great deal, man.

38
00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:26,319
How much?

39
00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:28,000
-Which one?|-The Dalmation.

40
00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:30,800
-Fifty.|-Twenty.

41
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,159
-Forty.|-Twenty!

42
00:03:32,159 --> 00:03:34,639
-Thirty.|-Twenty.

43
00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,360
Come on, Darling,|don't pout.

44
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,719
Every socialite in San Francisco|is going to see me with that bag.

45
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,840
Honestly,|you should be paying me.

46
00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:53,360
First entry of stupid|tax journal...

47
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,439
Nazi accountant|is forcing me to keep.

48
00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:58,680
Mont Blanc pen to write down|expenditures: two hundred dollars.

49
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,080
Bang & Olufson|mini-recorder...

50
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,960
since Mont Blanc|chipped manicure:

51
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,159
free,|as pilfered from office.

52
00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:08,479
Spent two thousand dollars on wear|and return gown for Dove's wedding.

53
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:10,800
Worn to wedding,|funeral and bar mitzvah.

54
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,520
Still has tag,|and luckily, no stains.

55
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,960
Thank God for 30 day|return policy.

56
00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:24,480
A tax journal?

57
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,600
Something about 'over|declared business expenses.'

58
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,800
I don't know, who has the time?

59
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,319
If you still need write-offs, you|should reconsider adopting Sabelo.

60
00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,279
Who?

61
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,360
The orphan from Uganda|I was telling you about.

62
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,240
You can sponsor him through Youth Aid,|the non-profit I volunteer for.

63
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,600
Eliza, I told you I barely|have time to keep a journal...

64
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,920
let alone breast feed|an orphan.

65
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,040
He's eight.

66
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,720
You can't smoke in here.

67
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,240
You know what?|You're better than the patch.

68
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,800
So, how was your date|last night?

69
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,639
Horrible. He fell into a|manhole and now he's suing me.

70
00:04:50,639 --> 00:04:52,279
Let me guess.|The Curse of Namambo?

71
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,560
I haven't had a boyfriend in|three years because of it.

72
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,879
-When it's going to wear off?|-Elevator's here.

73
00:04:57,879 --> 00:05:00,759
I don't know when it's going to end,|but that's what you get when...

74
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,040
you try to pay a West Indies high|priestess ten bucks to do you cornrows.

75
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,319
I thought I was supporting|the local economy!

76
00:05:05,319 --> 00:05:06,959
It just goes to show you|you try to do a good deed...

77
00:05:06,959 --> 00:05:10,120
and you end up with a voodoo curse|that cripples potential husbands.

78
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,480
This is why I avoid|philanthropy.

79
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,639
-Good morning.|-Good morning, Eliza.

80
00:05:21,639 --> 00:05:24,000
Katya, you're late.

81
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,040
By, like, five minutes,|Gatekeeper.

82
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,600
Where'd you get that bag?

83
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,360
I went to Lulu Guinness|and I bought it.

84
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,480
They cost a fortune.

85
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,279
Darling, don't you know that|looking good is everything?

86
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,160
No matter how much it costs?

87
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,480
Nevermind.

88
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:45,839
Wait!|I made seaweed snacks.

89
00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:51,480
They're totally organic.|No sugar, no flour...

90
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,879
No fun.

91
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,399
Sorry.|She doesn't mean it.

92
00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:07,240
Who the hell are you?

93
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,040
I'm Sebastian.

94
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,360
Sebastian who?

95
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,399
What is that thing|in my office?

96
00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:16,480
What thing?

97
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,759
That pre-pubescent|thing in my office?

98
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:21,360
You must mean the new hire?

99
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,439
Mr. Cosgrove will be in|shortly to explain it to you.

100
00:06:24,439 --> 00:06:27,920
How am I supposed to get any work done|with someone breathing next to me?

101
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,519
It is an office|for two people, Katya.

102
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,079
I do not need this right now!

103
00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,680
-I will be in boss-man's office.|-You are not allowed.

104
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,680
Not allowed?

105
00:06:39,439 --> 00:06:42,319
You know, actually,|I forgot...

106
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,720
I got you a little something.

107
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,680
Lulu Guinness?

108
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,959
For me?

109
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,120
Stan, darling, if I adopt|a Third World child...

110
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,560
can I claim an exemption|as a single mother?

111
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,879
Adopt?

112
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,800
You mean you're going|to be a mom?

113
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,399
No, silly.|It's like rent-a-kid.

114
00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:08,519
That Sally Struthers thing,|'for 79 cents a day, blah blah'

115
00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:12,399
Thank god. I mean, I'm|moved by your selflessness.

116
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,720
So, yes or no|on the exemption?

117
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:20,399
No. But the IRS loves charitable|deductions. So do it.

118
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,240
Now this is|really important...

119
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,959
Hello.

120
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,399
Katya, what are you|doing in my office?

121
00:07:33,399 --> 00:07:36,279
Don't you want to talk to me|about that child in my office?

122
00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:40,279
As a matter of fact I would|like to talk to you about that.

123
00:07:40,279 --> 00:07:44,680
It seems that you have now scared away|another assistant art director.

124
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,639
And this time|in a record two weeks.

125
00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:50,600
It is not my fault that she|couldn't handle the competition...

126
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,639
or that I'm a good|eleven pounds thinner.

127
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,480
Is this a bad time?

128
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,639
This is a perfect time.|Come on in. Come on in.

129
00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:04,199
Now you can meet our new assistant|art director. This is Sebastian.

130
00:08:04,199 --> 00:08:06,279
It's a pleasure to meet you.

131
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:08,600
I'm sure it is.

132
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,439
Lyle, if you|had consulted me first...

133
00:08:10,439 --> 00:08:14,000
I might've suggested someone old enough|to take clients to drinks.

134
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,560
Actually, I'll be|twenty-one in a month.

135
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,759
Whatever he lacks in age, he|more than makes up for in brains.

136
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,360
He's a smart kid, you know he|graduated from your Alma Mater.

137
00:08:23,439 --> 00:08:25,240
Stanford?

138
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,399
Of course. Can I have a word|with you? Alone?

139
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,639
Sure, I'll just|be in our office.

140
00:08:31,639 --> 00:08:33,759
It's such an honor|to meet you.

141
00:08:33,759 --> 00:08:37,360
Our office? I'm not sharing|an office with that tween!

142
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,159
This is an ad agency,|not Romper Room!

143
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:44,519
Will you hold that thought while|you're stepping away from my desk?

144
00:08:44,519 --> 00:08:46,480
Thank you.

145
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,879
Look, Katya, I tried to find|someone with real experience...

146
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,279
but the truth is no one|will work with you.

147
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:53,679
-Your reputation proceeds you.|-Really?

148
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:57,039
Stop that. It's not good to|be known as a prima donna.

149
00:08:57,039 --> 00:09:00,200
Even though my last Campbell's|campaign doubled their sales.

150
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,480
You're the one who told me you|needed help with the workload.

151
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,440
You have Dr. Bolls|tomorrow at noon.

152
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,480
Take him under your wing.|Use him however you need.

153
00:09:10,639 --> 00:09:12,919
However I need?

154
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,120
He's a dead man.

155
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,960
Carrot celery and wheatgrass|for me, thank you.

156
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,559
Non-fat milk.

157
00:09:28,799 --> 00:09:30,799
-What is that?|-Baryshnikov.

158
00:09:30,799 --> 00:09:32,919
-What's that?|-Skinny white Russian.

159
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,039
I thought you couldn't do lunch|because you had too many errands?

160
00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:39,320
Darling, that's what|a cabana boy is for.

161
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,399
Sebastian!

162
00:09:40,399 --> 00:09:42,080
After dropping off|my drycleaning...

163
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,440
he cleaned|my make-up brushes...

164
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,000
and then took the rest of his lunch|off to pick up my birth control.

165
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,840
Katya! That's horrible! He's|an assistant, not a slave.

166
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,720
Of course he's not. I would|never take advantage of him.

167
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,279
He does have a nice ass.

168
00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:59,080
This is why you can never keep|a relationship, you objectify men.

169
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,720
He's not a man. He's a boy.

170
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,399
And the reason that I have|trouble keep a relationship...

171
00:10:03,399 --> 00:10:06,960
is because the men I go out with are|not worthy of my inner goddess.

172
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,360
Your standards|are way too high.

173
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,720
What is wrong with wanting a man that|has the looks of George Clooney...

174
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,480
the real estate|of Donald Trump...

175
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,440
and the bank account|of Bill Gates?

176
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,759
Because, for the hundredth|time, he doesn't exist!

177
00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:21,200
Yes he does. I just|haven't found him yet.

178
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,919
And until I do, I'm prepared|to be a single mother.

179
00:10:25,919 --> 00:10:29,080
-Excuse me?|-I'm ready to adopt Sabelo.

180
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,000
Katya, I'm so thrilled!

181
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,639
You're making a difference|in a child's life.

182
00:10:33,639 --> 00:10:35,759
What do I have to do|to get the write-off?

183
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:38,759
PS: That Aunt Jemima thing|out. Kapish?

184
00:10:42,159 --> 00:10:44,480
'I'm always dressed|in head-to-toe designer...

185
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,200
prefer platinum|to white gold...

186
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,840
and frequent all the best|restaurants in San Francisco.'

187
00:10:51,279 --> 00:10:53,480
Katya, the child lives|in a dung hut.

188
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,039
I know! And he lists his|favorite hobby as 'eating'.

189
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:59,360
So we already|have so much in common!

190
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,440
Listen, I'm happy to help|with your personal stuff...

191
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:06,320
but I also really want to help|you on your campaign, please.

192
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,440
Dookie...

193
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:13,240
You've already got so much on|your plate it makes me tired.

194
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,799
Anyhow, I think I'm going|to take a ciggie break...

195
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,120
while you finish up|my 'to do' list.

196
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:25,200
I thought you were quitting?

197
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,559
It's not lit.

198
00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,519
But don't tell anyone. I don't|want to miss out on the break.

199
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:32,480
Speaking of, time's up.|You coming?

200
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,399
I'm not finished.

201
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,240
Je ne sais quoi, check.

202
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,440
I didn't know what size you wanted,|so I got you the super pack.

203
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,080
Do I know you?

204
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,799
Good afternoon.

205
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,679
Gas chamber|or lethal injection?

206
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,799
I am on a break.

207
00:12:22,799 --> 00:12:23,840
I'm sorry.

208
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,240
Next up, Melissa Rivers|on In the Know.

209
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,720
Watch out San Francisco! You have|no ideal what's coming your way...

210
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,080
Socialite sisters|Dove and Fawn Greenstein...

211
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,919
well,|they sent out these keys.

212
00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:39,240
Invitations to the Royal Ball, the|biggest party to hit this city, ever.

213
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,559
Anyone who is anyone is gonna be here|benefitting Youth Aid International.

214
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,559
It's going to be|the most exclusive party...

215
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,759
more exclusive|than Oprah's fiftieth...

216
00:12:47,759 --> 00:12:50,879
more decadent than|Puffy's White Party!

217
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,840
And this key, this will|open the front door...

218
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,600
Where's my key?

219
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,960
to Covington Castle.

220
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,240
Had to call best friends|Ferguson and Frangipani.

221
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,919
Meet me at 17th and Market|Street! It's an emergency!

222
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,919
Maybe it's in the mail...

223
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,240
You're right.|I have to be invited.

224
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,639
You're definitely invited.

225
00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:11,240
Teddy, why is it|so freezing in here?

226
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,519
You should've|dressed accordingly.

227
00:13:12,519 --> 00:13:14,799
-lt's June!|-Come on, it's called lgloo.

228
00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:17,840
-There's two more ice-tinis.|-I mean why wouldn't I be invited?

229
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,960
Will you stop! You're|definitely invited, okay.

230
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,879
And in case you're wondering...

231
00:13:22,879 --> 00:13:24,279
I think that I'm in love.

232
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,399
Okay, I'll bite,|who is he?

233
00:13:28,399 --> 00:13:29,799
Hans.

234
00:13:29,799 --> 00:13:32,639
I told you not to mix|business with pleasure.

235
00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:35,519
Please. Office romances|are tr�s common, sweetie.

236
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:37,799
You are an escort, darling.|Not an insurance salesman.

237
00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:39,200
Okay, whatever...

238
00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:43,519
Sorry I'm late. I was|speed dating for a billionaire.

239
00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:46,799
You just got divorced from your|fourth husband three weeks ago.

240
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:49,559
But I'm so lonely.|I hate being single.

241
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,799
I don't know how|you two do it.

242
00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:53,919
So, what's the emergency?

243
00:13:53,919 --> 00:13:55,279
The Royal Ball!

244
00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:56,720
Will you tell her that|she's invited, please?

245
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,639
Of course she's not invited.|Dove Greenstein hates you.

246
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,879
She does not hate me!|Fergie, does she hate me?

247
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,840
No, she... Well...

248
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,759
you tried to sleep with her ex-husband|before he was an ex...

249
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,559
That was months ago.|People move on.

250
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,600
I did not sleep with him|he was up my dress.

251
00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:15,279
I've been meaning to ask you to read|this novel I've been working on.

252
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,840
Hello?|In the middle of a crisis here.

253
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,639
-I don't want to bug you.|-You already are.

254
00:14:20,679 --> 00:14:24,159
It would mean a lot of me if you|would read it and give me some notes.

255
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:25,679
And the grant deadline's|in two weeks...

256
00:14:25,679 --> 00:14:27,480
and twenty-five thousand|dollars is a lot of money.

257
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,960
Twenty five thousand dollars?|What do I get out of it?

258
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,519
What do you mean?

259
00:14:33,519 --> 00:14:35,600
I mean how long|do we all get free drinks?

260
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,840
You know what, they've been|really cracking down on us...

261
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,399
make it 3 month and you've got a|deal. Drop this off at my office.

262
00:14:40,399 --> 00:14:41,639
Next round...

263
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,600
Why me?

264
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,559
Because you're too charitable|for your own good, that's why.

265
00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:50,279
Now see, why don't you do|tell that to Dove Greenstein?

266
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:54,960
Don't worry. These socialite|soirees are so overrated.

267
00:14:58,519 --> 00:15:01,080
That's an invite|to the Royal Ball!

268
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,600
I was just trying|to make you feel better.

269
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:06,159
How could you think that I was going|to miss the party of the century?

270
00:15:06,159 --> 00:15:08,960
-Anyone who's anyone will be there.|-Well, except for her.

271
00:15:10,799 --> 00:15:12,720
I'm kidding. Who cares about|the stupid party, anyway?

272
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,120
I do.

273
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,519
That invite better be|in my mail at work.

274
00:15:16,519 --> 00:15:17,759
If it's not,|my life is over.

275
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:20,639
I'll be banished|to social Siberia.

276
00:15:20,639 --> 00:15:22,360
Too bad you burned your Uggs.

277
00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:26,879
-You're really overreacting here.|-No I am not.

278
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:30,080
Take it from someone in advertising.|Image is everything.

279
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:47,720
Katya, your Dr. Boll's|presentation has been moved up...

280
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,279
to nine a.m. tomorrow|morning. Don't be late.

281
00:15:51,279 --> 00:15:53,879
Work. What an|unpleasant interruption.

282
00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:57,080
Especially after spending|entire evening building a buzz.

283
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,919
Which reminds me|drinks at lgloo: free.

284
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:01,879
Thanks to agreement|with bartender.

285
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:06,360
Initial contribution towards|adopted child: 79 cents...

286
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,879
new La Perla thong:|ninety dollars...

287
00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:13,039
soiled current one after running into|man of my dreams on smoke break.

288
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,720
Have yet to learn his name, but|will refer to him as 'Thor'...

289
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,639
because of Viking|good looks...

290
00:16:17,639 --> 00:16:20,840
Am anticipating many expenses|for upcoming Royal Ball.

291
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:25,360
Can't believe Ferguson and Frangipani|think it's okay not to go.

292
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,639
But what else should I expect from a|musical theater queen male escort...

293
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:31,600
or my Korean ex-nail tech|turned-black widow billionairess?

294
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,200
Only fourteen days|'til the ball.

295
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:39,360
Must be brilliant, as have several|reasons to get to work before noon.

296
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,799
Dr. Bolls...

297
00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:33,480
Dr. Bole's...|they're heaven for your soles.

298
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,119
You were great.|You make...

299
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,799
What happened to Nemo|and the bosses fish?

300
00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:57,759
What does it look like?

301
00:17:57,759 --> 00:18:01,200
Poor Lyle,|I mean Mr. Cosgrove...

302
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,680
He's really upset.

303
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,839
We're going to send|them for an autopsy.

304
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:09,400
So, obviously you got|my message last night.

305
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,160
After last call. I stayed up all|night working on my presentation.

306
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,599
I'm going to go in there and|talk to my very pleased boss.

307
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,799
I'm allergic to feathers.

308
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:24,359
Could you hold this?

309
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,839
To the fish.

310
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:32,640
Lyle, I just heard...

311
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,680
but come on, why the long|face? We just had a home run.

312
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,519
You were perfect, as always,|my little angel.

313
00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:42,799
So, the good news is Rice-A-Roni|is looking for a new image...

314
00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:46,279
they're going to need a new|advertising agency.

315
00:18:46,279 --> 00:18:48,079
Now I've already given|the market research...

316
00:18:48,079 --> 00:18:50,160
and all the product lines|to Sebastian.

317
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,319
Hold on...|I want you to present.

318
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,200
-When?|-Next week.

319
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,039
Is that an invite|to the Royal Ball?

320
00:19:02,039 --> 00:19:06,039
Yes, it is. I donate|to Youth Aid International.

321
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:07,119
So do I!

322
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,319
Well then I guess|I'll see you there.

323
00:19:12,079 --> 00:19:13,839
I wouldn't miss it|for the world.

324
00:19:13,839 --> 00:19:17,640
Good. Then that night we can|celebrate you landing Rice-A-Roni.

325
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,759
Whatever.|Sorry.

326
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,319
How did Lyle get tickets|to the ball and I didn't?

327
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:28,160
Because he's a six-figure|donor to Youth Aid.

328
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,880
So far, you've only|contributed seventy-nine cents.

329
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,039
I have an idea.

330
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:36,759
Why don't you volunteer with me.|We'd have so much fun.

331
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:39,720
Working the event is worse|than not going at all!

332
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,279
Goofball.

333
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,519
What are you doing?

334
00:19:52,519 --> 00:19:53,680
I'm working.

335
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,960
I told you,|there's no time for that!

336
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,839
Go fetch me a nonfat latte|and a nicotine patch, pronto!

337
00:19:57,839 --> 00:20:00,119
I have a very important|meeting in half an hour.

338
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,680
With a client?

339
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,000
He has clients...

340
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,519
After spending twelve dollars on|cab ride to house boat at Fisherman's...

341
00:20:13,519 --> 00:20:15,839
and a buck ninety-nine|on Charles Shaw wine...

342
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:19,119
Was forced to descend on Ferguson|who's trying to kill himself again...

343
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,079
over another client|turned lover.

344
00:20:21,079 --> 00:20:23,119
Fergie...

345
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,160
He's not here...

346
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,160
Ferguson!

347
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,680
Go away.

348
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,799
I'm coming in.

349
00:20:30,799 --> 00:20:33,640
No, not again...

350
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,279
Spare me the Sylvia Plath.

351
00:20:36,279 --> 00:20:38,640
The oven's electric.

352
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,440
Lemme guess. Hans?

353
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,519
Listen to me, he's a no-good|German cheapskate!

354
00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:50,880
You need a boyfriend|who's going to love you...

355
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,880
no matter how much you cost!

356
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,799
Now am I right or am I right?

357
00:20:55,759 --> 00:20:57,599
Smile.

358
00:20:57,599 --> 00:20:59,039
Do it.

359
00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,200
Do it.

360
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,160
Since ninth grade, when|I took you under my wing...

361
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,400
have I ever steered|you wrong?

362
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:08,000
-Well...|-Other than the home perm thing?

363
00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,440
Good. Then let's not|cry over spilled German.

364
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,400
-Come on.|-What?

365
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,599
Now on to more|pressing issues...

366
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:18,319
I need you to call Dove Greenstein|and pretend to be my assistant.

367
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,480
Don't you have an assistant?

368
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,960
But not with your wit, or your|charm, or unique flair.

369
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,640
I get it, I get it.

370
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,559
You need your gay assistant|to call, I understand.

371
00:21:27,559 --> 00:21:29,279
Dial the number.|Watch the magic, baby.

372
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:31,400
This is why we're friends.

373
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,799
Okay, it's ringing.

374
00:21:33,799 --> 00:21:35,400
Greenstein residence.

375
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,839
Hi. This is Ferguson from|Katya Livingston's office.

376
00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,319
-With whom am I speaking?|-This is Laurie.

377
00:21:39,319 --> 00:21:41,519
-Hi Laurie, how are you?|-Fine, and you?

378
00:21:41,519 --> 00:21:44,880
I'm doing fine|thank you very much.

379
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,319
Laurie look, we were just|going over Katya's schedule...

380
00:21:48,319 --> 00:21:50,160
we were wondering, she didn't|get an invite to the Royal Ball...

381
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,680
-We're hoping it was some sort of...|-Probably was some sort of oversight.

382
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,799
Probably some sort of oversight.|That's what we were thinking.

383
00:21:54,799 --> 00:21:57,440
-Will you please hold?|-I will absolutely hold.

384
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,720
You want to thank me now?

385
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,920
Hi, Fergie is it?|This is Dove Greenstein.

386
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,200
Miss Greenstein,|how are you?

387
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:10,240
Just so you hear it from the horse's|mouth. There's been no oversight.

388
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,000
There's been no oversight?

389
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,759
Dove, darling?|Hi, it's Katya.

390
00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:19,480
I just caught the tail end of your|conversation with my assistant.

391
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:20,880
What seems to be the trouble?

392
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,279
Katya, darling.|There's no trouble.

393
00:22:23,279 --> 00:22:26,680
I was just explaining how we didn't|include you on our guest list.

394
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,400
You know how|these things are, dear.

395
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,839
We had to|cut it off somewhere...

396
00:22:29,839 --> 00:22:32,200
so we cut it off at those|who'd slept with our husbands.

397
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,559
But you made so much money|off the infidelity clause!

398
00:22:34,559 --> 00:22:37,920
I know, but when you leaked|my real age to the Gazette...

399
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,039
-Dove, no one's 29.|-I am!

400
00:22:42,079 --> 00:22:45,759
Anyways, now that the Sultan of|Brunei is bringing his harem...

401
00:22:45,759 --> 00:22:48,119
well, we're absolutely|at capacity.

402
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,559
But take care dear.|Good to chat.

403
00:22:53,759 --> 00:22:54,759
Are you okay?

404
00:22:54,759 --> 00:22:57,640
No! The Sultan of Brunai|is bringing his hoes...

405
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,680
and I'm not invited!

406
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,759
So what are you going to do?

407
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,359
Sweetie...

408
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,400
it's electric. Remember?

409
00:23:32,519 --> 00:23:35,599
Oh my God. I'm going|to get a huge fine.

410
00:23:35,599 --> 00:23:37,640
I'll fix it for you.

411
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,359
Here, hold this.

412
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,960
-Alright. Thanks.|-Thank you.

413
00:23:51,839 --> 00:23:53,200
Going up?

414
00:23:57,599 --> 00:23:59,559
You're so uncool!

415
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,920
Met Thor the love God|in elevator today.

416
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,839
Electric Smile teeth whitener|thirty five dollars.

417
00:24:06,839 --> 00:24:09,079
And quit smoking|again.

418
00:24:09,079 --> 00:24:10,920
Hoping he works|in the building.

419
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,759
Got to get Eliza to help me|hunt him down.

420
00:24:13,759 --> 00:24:15,640
Please God, don't|let him be married.

421
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,319
Darling, can you get me|a list of every man under 35...

422
00:24:22,319 --> 00:24:23,839
on the fourth floor?

423
00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:25,880
My future husband works there.

424
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,880
You found someone who lives|up to your expectations?

425
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,000
At least in the looks|department he's very leading man.

426
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,680
Katya. Forget about|a fantasy guy.

427
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,000
What if I set you up|with my attorney?

428
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,000
You want me to go out with somebody|who specializes in personal injury?

429
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,160
He's at the top|of his field.

430
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,359
Trust me,|he's a catch.

431
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,799
Then why don't you|date him?

432
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:47,319
I forgot,|Curse of Namambo.

433
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,359
And the fact|that he eats meat.

434
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,319
You don't want to go out with him|because he's not a vegetarian...

435
00:24:52,319 --> 00:24:55,759
and I don't want to go out|with him because I'm engaged.

436
00:24:55,759 --> 00:24:58,160
Fourth floor, remember?

437
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,079
Come on.

438
00:25:15,279 --> 00:25:17,160
Look who's late.

439
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,599
Is that a mirage, or are|you really wearing a parka?

440
00:25:21,599 --> 00:25:22,920
I was trying|to dress 'accordingly.'

441
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,839
-lgloo's so last week.|-The ice age is so over.

442
00:25:28,039 --> 00:25:30,079
So, how was your|grovel-fest with Dove?

443
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:31,240
It was a disaster.

444
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,960
I should've known that|bitch would hold a grudge.

445
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,440
She retains everything else.

446
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,720
Do I smell|something burning?

447
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:37,920
Is something burning?

448
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,119
-lt was me.|-lt was you.

449
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,119
The only way I'm going to get into this|ball is to be someone's 'plus one?'

450
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,759
Sorry. My ex won|the 'plus one' in the divorce.

451
00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:47,119
Hey, guys.

452
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,480
Teddy, darling, since when|did you start working here?

453
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,039
Since I got frost bite|at lgloo.

454
00:25:51,039 --> 00:25:52,519
So, have you|read my opus yet?

455
00:25:52,519 --> 00:25:53,920
I did. Yeah.

456
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,119
In fact, I mailed it|to the NEA.

457
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,759
No, but I wanted to proof it!|It's a $25,000 grant.

458
00:25:58,759 --> 00:26:00,039
No need.

459
00:26:01,039 --> 00:26:02,960
Thanks, I guess.

460
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,640
No thanks necessary,|just Sand-tinis.

461
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,839
Coming right up.

462
00:26:09,599 --> 00:26:11,599
His book was terrible.

463
00:26:11,599 --> 00:26:14,599
So I just chucked it and|submitted my tax journal instead.

464
00:26:14,599 --> 00:26:15,839
You did what?

465
00:26:15,839 --> 00:26:19,160
At least someone has a chance|to win the twenty-five grand.

466
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:23,039
Now believe me, I did him|and the NEA a favor.

467
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:26,240
-So now he owes you one?|-Precisely.

468
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,920
It's too bad he didn't get|invited to the Royal Ball.

469
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,160
Of course not.|He's a nobody.

470
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,559
-Oh my God!|-What?

471
00:26:32,559 --> 00:26:34,839
You just thought of a 'nobody'|who might actually be invited.

472
00:26:34,839 --> 00:26:35,880
Who?

473
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,480
Bobby, my ex. He was|Dove and Fawn's dealer.

474
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,200
-Art?|-Drug.

475
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,799
Don't you have a restraining|order against him, sweetie?

476
00:26:43,799 --> 00:26:46,480
Didn't he tattoo 'I Love|Katya' on his back?

477
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,640
He lasered that off|I think.

478
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:52,039
You know he's crazy for you.|Like literally crazy for you.

479
00:26:52,039 --> 00:26:55,279
You're no one in this town,|unless you have a stalker.

480
00:26:55,279 --> 00:26:57,079
Bobby,|my actor ex-boyfriend...

481
00:26:57,079 --> 00:27:00,599
played Ewok 4 in Return of|the Jedi with such promise.

482
00:27:00,599 --> 00:27:02,319
Now he's a rabbit.

483
00:27:02,319 --> 00:27:05,759
Want to come to my place|and hump like bunnies?

484
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,920
You big silly rabbit...

485
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,079
that's right,|tricks are for Katya.

486
00:27:20,519 --> 00:27:24,240
Somebody's excited to|see me, Bobby.

487
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,640
Who's Bobby?

488
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,319
-What?|-Who's Bobby?

489
00:27:28,319 --> 00:27:31,200
You're not Bobby?|Get out!

490
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,799
Why does this always|happen to me?

491
00:27:42,599 --> 00:27:46,519
Bobby, darling,|guess who?

492
00:27:46,519 --> 00:27:48,599
Want to come over tonight?

493
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,279
Looks like Cinderella was finally|getting closer to her Ball.

494
00:27:56,279 --> 00:27:58,200
My shrink said|I shouldn't see you.

495
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,759
-You're bad for my mental well being.|-He just wants your money.

496
00:28:01,759 --> 00:28:04,920
-You're not gonna call the cops...|-I invited you here.

497
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,119
So how's the acting|thing going?

498
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:12,680
Real good. I got|the bunny character down.

499
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,200
In rehab, they said sex might not|be the same without the drugs.

500
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,079
-But with you, it's still magic.|-Rehab?

501
00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:39,640
Six months at Healing Horizons.|I'm clean as a whistle.

502
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,279
-So, you don't deal anymore?|-No. I'm a changed man.

503
00:28:43,279 --> 00:28:45,319
So, you don't see|Dove and Fawn anymore?

504
00:28:45,319 --> 00:28:46,640
Those girls are bad news.

505
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,200
So, you're not invited|to the Royal Ball?

506
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,599
No. What's with|the inquisition, honey?

507
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:52,880
Nothing.

508
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,240
I just have a quick|phone call to make.

509
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,039
But I love you, Katya,|I love you!

510
00:28:59,039 --> 00:29:00,839
-Thank you, officer.|-But you promised!

511
00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:02,160
Must find a new way|into Ball...

512
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,480
as chariot just turned|into pumpkin.

513
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,720
No expenses worth reporting,|except for the cost of my dignity.

514
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,279
-Could you shut the door?|-We'll always be together, forever.

515
00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:14,200
Knit, one. Pearl, two.

516
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,759
-Good morning.|-Good morning.

517
00:29:16,759 --> 00:29:20,319
Wait! Organic prunes.

518
00:29:20,319 --> 00:29:23,440
-Organic prunes.|-That'll keep me regular.

519
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,720
How was your date last night?

520
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,839
It ended in handcuffs|as usual. Yours?

521
00:29:26,839 --> 00:29:29,640
He broke his ankle, but|at least he's not suing.

522
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,119
Look! You got|a postcard from Sabelo!

523
00:29:34,119 --> 00:29:36,279
-Who?|-Your adopted son!

524
00:29:36,279 --> 00:29:38,559
I was wondering when he was|going to ask for more money.

525
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:40,079
Listen, I'll be|in my other office.

526
00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:42,759
You are not allowed in|Mr. Cosgrove's office!

527
00:29:42,759 --> 00:29:46,519
I need a moment alone|with my son!

528
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,400
Dear Katya, thank you|for adopting me...

529
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:04,000
and sending me|your wonderful letter.

530
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,680
You sound fun.

531
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:09,960
Is it true that if I stopped|listening to the missionaries...

532
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,400
I won't go hungry all|the time...

533
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,839
and could earn as much|money as you some day?

534
00:30:15,839 --> 00:30:18,440
Hope to hear from you soon.

535
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,799
Love, Sabelo.

536
00:30:20,799 --> 00:30:23,400
P.S. Can I call you mommy?

537
00:30:25,319 --> 00:30:28,079
Look at that.|That's where my son lives.

538
00:30:28,079 --> 00:30:30,319
Right there.|Yes.

539
00:30:30,319 --> 00:30:32,799
You know what?|You want a treat?

540
00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:36,279
I could be your mommmy.|Yeah, here you go.

541
00:30:36,279 --> 00:30:38,880
There you go.|A treat for you.

542
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,559
You know what you'd make?

543
00:30:40,559 --> 00:30:45,799
New shoes for Katya.

544
00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:47,640
Good morning,|dear Sebastian.

545
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,200
We've a very busy|day ahead of us.

546
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,680
I need you to run down to the bookstore|and pick me up a copy...

547
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,519
of Running a Small Business|For Profit for my son.

548
00:30:55,519 --> 00:30:57,480
I don't think so.

549
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,599
Do you know where|Sebastian is?

550
00:31:03,599 --> 00:31:06,799
Say hello|to the real Sebastian.

551
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,880
What are you doing?

552
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,599
I'm looking for the cameras...

553
00:31:17,599 --> 00:31:21,920
Katya, I'm dead serious.

554
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,279
Look, Sebastian...|darling...

555
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:27,920
You may be very good|at playing dress-up...

556
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,119
but you have no idea|with whom you are dealing.

557
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,440
What do you know|about advertising?

558
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,319
I know your position at Liquid requires|the least amount of work...

559
00:31:38,319 --> 00:31:40,240
for the most amount of money.

560
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,000
And I also know you won't be|in that position much longer.

561
00:31:45,839 --> 00:31:48,519
My cabana boy is trying|to take my job!

562
00:31:48,519 --> 00:31:49,960
Can you imagine someone|so ruthless...

563
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,559
that they'd stab their|own mentor in the back?

564
00:31:52,559 --> 00:31:54,720
If I remember correctly,|that's how you got your...

565
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,319
I'm not that worried about it.

566
00:31:56,319 --> 00:31:59,240
I could eat the twerp|for lunch.

567
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaking of,|let's take one.

568
00:32:07,119 --> 00:32:10,279
Are we really spending the entire|lunch hour in the elevator?

569
00:32:10,279 --> 00:32:11,519
He's bound to get on|at some point.

570
00:32:11,519 --> 00:32:13,240
There's more|than one elevator.

571
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,519
Better odds than Vegas. Now|push four again. We're going down.

572
00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:18,039
But I get motion sickness.

573
00:32:18,039 --> 00:32:20,119
Isn't it easier to just|go to the fourth floor?

574
00:32:20,119 --> 00:32:24,640
And do what? Wander about|aimlessly? That's so desperate.

575
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,039
And riding the elevator hoping|to run into him isn't?

576
00:32:28,039 --> 00:32:30,240
I don't think you're one to|give advice there, Voodoo Queen.

577
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,720
Hello, fourth floor.

578
00:32:38,319 --> 00:32:39,839
Are you okay?

579
00:32:39,839 --> 00:32:41,799
I'm so embarrassed.

580
00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:44,599
No, it's fine.|Can I get you anything?

581
00:32:44,599 --> 00:32:46,960
That's okay. That tie|would make me sick too.

582
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,039
Thank you.

583
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,559
Free seats.

584
00:33:12,559 --> 00:33:15,440
Excuse me.|Coming through.

585
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,319
Ditch the umbrella.|It is so last season.

586
00:33:17,319 --> 00:33:19,160
No I can't. I don't want|to get my sutures wet.

587
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,200
Why would you do that?|Your pecs are fine!

588
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,680
They are not fine. One was a little|bit bigger than the other one.

589
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,119
I demand that you take 'Extreme|Makeover' off your Tivo.

590
00:33:27,119 --> 00:33:28,680
You have developed body|dysmorphic disorder.

591
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,720
I do not!

592
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,039
Learn to love yourself and just stop|trying to be someone you're not.

593
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,039
-No you didn't!|-Yes I did.

594
00:33:36,039 --> 00:33:37,880
-No you didn't, girl.|-Yes I did.

595
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,559
Teddy, darling, when did|you start working here?

596
00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:42,200
Since I got skin cancer|at Dune.

597
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,200
I have a great plastic surgeon, if you|ever need to get a mole removed.

598
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,160
Thanks, but I can't afford|health insurance right now.

599
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,279
So Katya, I called the NEA.

600
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,200
They never got my book.

601
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,599
-What are you insinuating?|-Just drop it, Katya!

602
00:33:55,599 --> 00:33:58,000
I can see right through you!

603
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,680
You think I want to be slinging|drinks my whole life?

604
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:03,839
You're so good at it! Don't fight that.|Now can we have two Rain-tinis?

605
00:34:03,839 --> 00:34:05,759
-You're cut off.|-What?

606
00:34:05,759 --> 00:34:07,640
You just lost|your drinking privileges.

607
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,320
What about me?

608
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,880
You're with her.

609
00:34:13,639 --> 00:34:15,039
Thanks a lot. You see|what you just did?

610
00:34:15,039 --> 00:34:18,159
-Sorry.|-I have major gossip!

611
00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:20,159
-About who?|-Dove Greenstein.

612
00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:21,719
My God!|Tell me everything!

613
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,679
I don't know. I'm not|one to spread rumors.

614
00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:26,320
Give it up or I will tell him|about your working class past!

615
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:30,800
I thought you were|a princess from Korea?

616
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,320
I am!

617
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,440
Let's just say Dove has|a hairy little secret.

618
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:40,159
Dove not only is a brunette,|she's a virtual Sasquatch!

619
00:34:40,159 --> 00:34:42,719
She has a standing appointment|every Thursday at noon!

620
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,400
She even gets her back done!

621
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,280
Are you thinking|what I'm thinking?

622
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,199
Blackmail the ape with|photographic evidence!

623
00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:51,440
-lt's like we share a brain.|-I know.

624
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:55,320
But you'll never get an appointment.|There's a waiting list.

625
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:59,079
Don't worry, darling. Where|there's a will, there's a Katya.

626
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,719
Okay Karino, Ciao.

627
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,239
Hello, darling. We'd like|to get our hair done.

628
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,440
Do you have an appointment?

629
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,679
No. Did I need one?

630
00:35:20,679 --> 00:35:22,920
This is Arq. You need|one six months ago.

631
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,000
I'm sure you can|make an exception?

632
00:35:28,159 --> 00:35:31,559
This is San Francisco,|sweetie. You're not my type.

633
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,079
You're up.

634
00:35:36,079 --> 00:35:38,800
I'm sorry. You have to excuse|my friend. She's new in town.

635
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,840
Obviously.

636
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,280
But you and I both know|that a man in your position...

637
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,239
not's just going|to bend the rules...

638
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,159
I'm sorry, sweetie.|You're not my type, either.

639
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,800
-Now what?|-Plan B.

640
00:36:03,599 --> 00:36:06,039
I don't think we've|actually been introduced.

641
00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:08,199
I'm Katya Livingston.

642
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:15,119
Katya, my name is Geoffrey.|Very pleased to meet you.

643
00:36:15,119 --> 00:36:19,079
I think we have|a cancellation, right now.

644
00:36:19,079 --> 00:36:21,039
Look at that.

645
00:36:21,039 --> 00:36:24,559
You know something maybe you|are my type after all.

646
00:36:27,679 --> 00:36:29,000
This way.

647
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,679
-Thank you.|-No problem.

648
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,119
-Where are you doing in a smock?|-I'm having my eyebrows done.

649
00:36:43,119 --> 00:36:44,480
This is about work!|Not primping!

650
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,559
But there's a six month waiting list|to get into this place.

651
00:36:47,559 --> 00:36:51,159
If we're going to be undercover, we|should probably blend in here.

652
00:36:51,159 --> 00:36:52,320
-Good point.|-Of course it is.

653
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,159
-She's undressing as we speak.|-There you go, sweetie. Good luck.

654
00:36:57,199 --> 00:36:59,960
You're going to get some|work on your brows?

655
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,320
-Yes I am.|-Well I'm the receptionist...

656
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,320
but I'm also|the eyebrow specialist.

657
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,199
-Fantastic.|-Would you like me to work on you?

658
00:37:07,199 --> 00:37:11,119
-I would.|-We're going to give you an arc.

659
00:37:11,119 --> 00:37:14,039
Maybe do some tweezing|over here.

660
00:37:14,039 --> 00:37:16,880
I'm going to pluck you|so good, poppy.

661
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,760
What are we waiting for?

662
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,880
Right here, baby.|This is my house.

663
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,440
-This is your house?|-You're invited.

664
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:30,679
We want to lighten the color of your|hair of your eyebrows a little bit.

665
00:37:30,679 --> 00:37:33,400
I want to feature these eyes.

666
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,920
You have a beautiful face,|you know.

667
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,800
-Thank you.|-What was your name?

668
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:42,320
-Ferguson.|-Ferguson, that's a beautiful name.

669
00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:54,000
That's fantastic.

670
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,960
Can we help you, miss?

671
00:38:00,519 --> 00:38:02,519
I have a twelve o'clock|appointment.

672
00:38:02,519 --> 00:38:05,320
It must be downstairs.|This is the VIP section.

673
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,079
I am VIP.

674
00:38:08,079 --> 00:38:09,760
No, you're not.|You're black.

675
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,719
And VIPs are red.

676
00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:15,599
I must've grabbed|the wrong smock.

677
00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:17,519
-Color blind.|-Nice try.

678
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,320
My God.

679
00:38:23,039 --> 00:38:24,880
Is he going|to go blind?

680
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,079
Go! Hurry.|I'll go with you.

681
00:38:28,079 --> 00:38:31,760
-Somebody help me!|-Keep going.

682
00:38:35,639 --> 00:38:36,760
You know what?

683
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,239
I'm totally fine. It was|my fault. I'm so sorry.

684
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:43,280
That was weird. I thought it was|burning. Well, I couldn't see...

685
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,760
Helga, is that you?

686
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,800
'Ja.'

687
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:51,440
Can we start with my back?

688
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,199
I'm feeling really sensitive|today. So, please be gentle.

689
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,039
I said gentle!

690
00:39:00,679 --> 00:39:02,719
Anyway, did I tell you|about the...

691
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,320
party that I'm throwing...

692
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,880
It's going to be|totally insane.

693
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,360
My daddy's hired these Israeli army|guys to keep out the trash.

694
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,480
Seriously, Helga!

695
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,639
At this rate I won't be|able to wear my backless!

696
00:39:18,639 --> 00:39:20,159
Say cheese!

697
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,639
Katya Livingston? What|the hell are you doing?

698
00:39:23,639 --> 00:39:25,519
Getting photographic evidence.

699
00:39:25,519 --> 00:39:27,880
How dare you!|Give me that photo.

700
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,320
Relax, darling. It hasn't|even developed yet.

701
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:34,519
What do you want?

702
00:39:34,519 --> 00:39:36,719
An invite to the Royal Ball.

703
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:38,920
I already told you|we have none.

704
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:43,360
That's too bad. Good headline:|'missing link found!'

705
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,559
Fine.|You win.

706
00:39:49,559 --> 00:39:53,639
Give me the Polaroid and|I'll give you the key.

707
00:39:53,639 --> 00:39:55,159
Do you think|I was born yesterday?

708
00:39:55,159 --> 00:39:58,000
We do it at the same time.|On three...

709
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,719
One...two...

710
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,199
On second thought,|I don't want to trade.

711
00:40:04,199 --> 00:40:05,559
What? Why?

712
00:40:05,559 --> 00:40:09,039
Because you can't blackmail someone|when their face isn't in frame.

713
00:40:09,039 --> 00:40:11,440
Security!

714
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,039
You know what? Watch it,|I bruise easily.

715
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:18,400
Could this day|get any worse?

716
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,840
I'm so sorry.|Are you okay?

717
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,880
-Fine.|-I'm sorry, it's one of those days.

718
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,119
Tell me about it.

719
00:40:27,119 --> 00:40:28,880
It's a nice Gucci.

720
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,039
Thank you.

721
00:40:31,039 --> 00:40:33,159
Not only do you have|exquisite taste...

722
00:40:33,159 --> 00:40:37,599
but you're possibly the most beautiful|woman I've ever seen.

723
00:40:37,599 --> 00:40:39,159
Your lips...

724
00:40:40,159 --> 00:40:42,280
eyes...

725
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,639
hair...

726
00:40:48,599 --> 00:40:50,639
Where are you going?

727
00:40:50,639 --> 00:40:52,559
It looks good.

728
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,840
Hello, ladies.

729
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,760
Gatekeeper, Nair will help|take care of that problem.

730
00:41:17,039 --> 00:41:20,280
Katya! I just received|a phone call from Youth Aid.

731
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,480
Thanking me|for my contribution?

732
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,760
Not exactly.

733
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,119
You're not supposed to display|your wealth to Sabelo...

734
00:41:27,119 --> 00:41:29,239
in such an ostentatious|manner.

735
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,239
Ostentatious? I was just trying|to bond with the little tyke.

736
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,360
But discussing|your sixfigure salary...

737
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,639
will only make him feel|discontented with his lot.

738
00:41:39,519 --> 00:41:43,519
He lives in a shack with no air|conditioning, DSL, or Tivo!

739
00:41:43,519 --> 00:41:46,400
I can't make him feel any more|discontented than he is!

740
00:41:48,079 --> 00:41:50,039
Jenga!

741
00:41:58,119 --> 00:41:59,320
Boring...

742
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,400
Dear Mommy...

743
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:10,639
thank you for the book on how|to run a small business.

744
00:42:10,639 --> 00:42:13,039
I started making toy cars...

745
00:42:13,039 --> 00:42:15,519
out of scrap metal.

746
00:42:15,519 --> 00:42:21,199
Do you think San Francisco would|make a good export market?

747
00:42:21,199 --> 00:42:24,440
And could you introduce me|to Lee lacocca?

748
00:42:26,519 --> 00:42:29,119
I did corrupt|my little orphan!

749
00:42:29,119 --> 00:42:31,719
Katya, could you come|in here, please?

750
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:36,840
What's the matter?

751
00:42:38,159 --> 00:42:39,920
Cuddles died.

752
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:41,159
Who?

753
00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:44,079
Cuddles... Cuddles...|my little new friend.

754
00:42:44,079 --> 00:42:45,679
My little iguana.

755
00:42:45,679 --> 00:42:48,199
How could he die?|He was so healthy.

756
00:42:48,199 --> 00:42:51,840
But he was fine yesterday|when I was in here.

757
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,639
Before the accounting lady|came in right after.

758
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,440
So...

759
00:42:58,440 --> 00:42:59,760
Khalua called.

760
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:02,199
They're extremely happy with|the unleash ya campaign.

761
00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:03,599
Good for Katya.

762
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,079
And Rice-A-Roni.|How's that going?

763
00:43:08,079 --> 00:43:13,159
Great. I've been|working day and night.

764
00:43:13,159 --> 00:43:16,719
I even bought|a gown for the Clios.

765
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:21,039
Fabulous. I can always|count on your consistency.

766
00:43:21,039 --> 00:43:26,559
Now, if you'll excuse me...|I have a funeral to arrange.

767
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,960
You've reached Katya. I'm out|doing something fabulous.

768
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,480
So I'll get back to you|when I'm bored, maybe.

769
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:42,119
Katya, this is Charles Fitz|calling, Eliza's attorney.

770
00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:46,159
I don't usually|do these things.

771
00:43:46,159 --> 00:43:50,719
But I'm doing it. So, give me|a call when you're 'bored'.

772
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:53,840
And I can promise you|a nice night out.

773
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,840
Give me a call. Talk to you|soon, hopefully. Bye.

774
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,159
Sorry, Charlie. I don't think|I'll ever be quite that bored.

775
00:44:03,159 --> 00:44:04,519
I think that went well.

776
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,599
I can't believe you gave your|attorney my phone number!

777
00:44:11,599 --> 00:44:13,920
Trust me, I think|you'll really like him.

778
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,880
I told you,|he's not my type.

779
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,000
He has two tickets|to the Royal Ball.

780
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,280
Maybe he is! Why didn't|you tell me sooner?

781
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,199
Because I want you|to like him for him.

782
00:44:26,199 --> 00:44:30,400
What is more important?|True love or some party?

783
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,880
You know what, never mind,|don't answer that.

784
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,360
Charles, it's Katya|Livingston, Eliza's friend.

785
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,199
Listen, I got your message|and would love to meet.

786
00:44:40,199 --> 00:44:44,320
How 'bout Wednesday night|at Mario's on North Beach?

787
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,559
Eight o'clock. Really|looking forward to it. Bye.

788
00:44:51,199 --> 00:44:53,360
What are you doing?

789
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,400
I'm working. You should|really try that sometime.

790
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,840
Look, give it up, Sebastian.

791
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,920
While I was working on the|'Got Milk?' campaign with Lyle...

792
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:03,360
you were still doing|beer bongs in your frat.

793
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,639
Trust me, you are|no competition.

794
00:45:06,639 --> 00:45:09,079
We'll just have|to see about that.

795
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,559
You do know that your name|is a hair product?

796
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:18,920
Just saying.

797
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,639
So, is that dinner?

798
00:45:30,639 --> 00:45:33,000
No. Work.

799
00:45:38,159 --> 00:45:40,360
What are you doing?|Why'd you stop the elevator?

800
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,320
I'm inviting you to dinner.

801
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,679
Really? I thought|you were taking me hostage.

802
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,039
If you come to dinner,|I'll start the elevator.

803
00:45:49,039 --> 00:45:50,320
That's blackmail.

804
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:54,000
I prefer to call it|negotiation.

805
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,960
Okay, you win.

806
00:46:01,199 --> 00:46:03,280
By the way, I'm Chuck.

807
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:04,199
Katya.

808
00:46:05,679 --> 00:46:08,440
-Did you say Katya?|-Yes. It's French.

809
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,760
So, where do you want to go?

810
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,800
I know the perfect place.

811
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:20,119
Where are you taking me? Is this the|short cut to Postrio?

812
00:46:20,119 --> 00:46:22,639
Postrio?|Not exactly.

813
00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:23,760
So, where are we?

814
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:25,440
Bon appetit.

815
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:28,920
You're kidding, right?

816
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:33,400
Would I kid about hot dogs|in the park?

817
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,320
Besides, look around,|this place is beautiful.

818
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,000
And here I was thinking|you were an Armani wearing...

819
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,159
four star restaurant|kind of guy?

820
00:46:42,159 --> 00:46:44,079
I am.

821
00:46:44,079 --> 00:46:46,480
But I like this place.|It's special.

822
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,719
You know, I come here|to think sometimes.

823
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,920
I go to Gucci for that.

824
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,000
Different kind of thinking.

825
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,239
What can I get you?

826
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,239
Hot dog.|Ketchup, mustard, no onions.

827
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,760
Make it two.|And definitely no onions.

828
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:01,400
No problem.

829
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,559
Keeping your options open?

830
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,039
Thanks.

831
00:47:09,679 --> 00:47:11,239
Thanks.

832
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,920
I can't believe|we actually got a table.

833
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:15,559
I hear there's a month long|waiting list for this place.

834
00:47:15,559 --> 00:47:16,960
I know the maitre'd.

835
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,199
Very impressive.

836
00:47:18,199 --> 00:47:20,519
I'm very well connected.

837
00:47:20,519 --> 00:47:24,199
So, are you always this|extravagant on your first dates?

838
00:47:24,199 --> 00:47:25,639
Are you calling this a date?

839
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:32,039
Actually, to tell you the truth, I've|sort of been off dating lately.

840
00:47:32,039 --> 00:47:33,880
Really?|How come?

841
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,719
Bunch of disastrous|experiences.

842
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:38,960
I can't relate.

843
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,639
I'm kidding.

844
00:47:43,639 --> 00:47:47,320
My ex-boyfriend wore a bunny|suit for his day job.

845
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:48,480
That's sexy.

846
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,800
Not so much, no.

847
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,960
Let's hear one|of your war stories.

848
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,639
Well, it's not like that,|actually...

849
00:47:58,639 --> 00:48:01,719
I would date these women|who seemed amazing...

850
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:04,599
on paper.|I have my list.

851
00:48:04,599 --> 00:48:08,559
But then it seemed like all I|was doing was dating a checklist.

852
00:48:08,559 --> 00:48:10,960
Well, there's nothing wrong|with having high standards.

853
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:12,239
I know I do.

854
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,960
But I think it's what's not on|the list that I'm looking for.

855
00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:20,679
If that makes any sense...

856
00:48:20,679 --> 00:48:23,239
I guess.

857
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:24,719
Would you excuse me|for a second?

858
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,280
I just remembered I have|to make a quick call...

859
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,159
someone at work.

860
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,440
-Sorry about that.|-That's okay.

861
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,679
You got...

862
00:48:45,679 --> 00:48:48,760
it's just mustard.

863
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:52,559
I guess it's better than|the foils in the hair.

864
00:48:52,559 --> 00:48:55,639
But still somehow I wish|it had gone differently.

865
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:58,960
You want to make a wish?

866
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,159
I think I still have some|change left over for dessert.

867
00:49:02,159 --> 00:49:04,119
Here.|Knock yourself out.

868
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,639
And that's what you call|making a wish?

869
00:49:09,639 --> 00:49:13,239
Your eyes open, sort|of hap-hazard toss into the...

870
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:15,639
There's no feeling in that.

871
00:49:15,639 --> 00:49:18,320
I mean you don't close your|eyes when you're making a wish?

872
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,360
It's not going to come true.

873
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,320
You're going to have|to do it again.

874
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:26,400
What?

875
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,360
What are you doing?

876
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:31,760
Well, the quarter's not|going to get itself, right?

877
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,280
You're crazy.

878
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,000
What if it's cold?

879
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,199
Well, I think|it's going to be.

880
00:49:40,199 --> 00:49:42,280
I'm pretty sure it is.

881
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,960
Where's that quarter.

882
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,159
My wish already came true.

883
00:50:01,519 --> 00:50:03,119
Dance with me?

884
00:50:03,119 --> 00:50:04,920
I'd love to.

885
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:09,000
But I always adhere|to the dress code.

886
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,719
It's cold, put this on.

887
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,800
Miss...

888
00:50:58,679 --> 00:51:00,320
Well, I guess I better|go inside...

889
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,719
before this officially|becomes a date.

890
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,519
Don't worry about it.|I've given up on dating.

891
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,760
-That was...|-Amazing.

892
00:51:34,639 --> 00:51:36,639
What are you doing Wednesday?

893
00:51:36,639 --> 00:51:39,119
I promise I'll take you|to a proper restaurant.

894
00:51:39,119 --> 00:51:41,000
But first, there's|something you should know...

895
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,840
This Wednesday?

896
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,239
-Hot date?|-Hardly.

897
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,559
It's this dreadful set-up|through a co-worker.

898
00:51:48,559 --> 00:51:52,079
I already committed.

899
00:51:52,079 --> 00:51:55,000
-Listen, Katya...|-I know what you're going to say.

900
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,239
How could I possibly go on|another date after tonight?

901
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:02,360
Don't worry about it. I just|need a ticket to some ball.

902
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,159
Well, here's your jacket.

903
00:52:09,159 --> 00:52:11,519
Good night, Chuck.

904
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,480
Good night, Miss Livingston.

905
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,360
Katya, it's Chuck.

906
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:57,679
We're on our date right now.

907
00:52:57,679 --> 00:53:00,559
I don't think you realize|that I'm the guy...

908
00:53:00,559 --> 00:53:03,519
that Eliza set you up with|Charles Fitz.

909
00:53:03,519 --> 00:53:06,320
I thought it would be more|fun to leave you this message...

910
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,239
than to tell you in person.

911
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:10,239
I'm having a great time.

912
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:13,079
I can't wait to see you|Wednesday!

913
00:53:13,079 --> 00:53:14,719
Shit!

914
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,000
Okay, I deserved that.

915
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,119
If you're trying to kill|yourself can I go with you?

916
00:53:39,119 --> 00:53:41,480
Sure. There's plenty of rope|here, I'll tie you up too.

917
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:42,760
What's wrong?

918
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:45,679
What's wrong?|I'll tell you what's wrong.

919
00:53:45,679 --> 00:53:47,559
While you were getting|manhandled by security...

920
00:53:47,559 --> 00:53:49,519
I ran into Geoffrey,|you know, that guy I like...

921
00:53:49,519 --> 00:53:51,360
does the little|eyebrow thingy...

922
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:54,960
We got to talking|and I gave him my number...

923
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,360
and then he never called me.

924
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,719
Do you want me|to make you feel better?

925
00:54:01,039 --> 00:54:03,559
Not only am I not going|to the Royal Ball...

926
00:54:03,559 --> 00:54:06,280
but I just blew it with|Thor-slash-Charles!

927
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,159
He knows I was just|in it for the ticket.

928
00:54:12,639 --> 00:54:14,639
That's pretty bad, baby.

929
00:54:14,639 --> 00:54:16,199
You're probably never going|to hear from him again.

930
00:54:16,199 --> 00:54:18,239
Fergie!

931
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:19,880
I'm just being|honest with you.

932
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,960
God, some gay|best friend you are!

933
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,480
Come on now.

934
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,679
Your making your little|pouty face, aren't you?

935
00:54:27,679 --> 00:54:29,079
Want me to give you a hug?

936
00:54:29,079 --> 00:54:31,519
I'll give you a hug. I'm going|to make you feel better.

937
00:54:31,519 --> 00:54:36,000
-I'll take away all your pain...|-What is that?

938
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:37,480
My god!

939
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,320
This? I was going|to tell you about this.

940
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:40,719
When were you going|to tell me about it?

941
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,840
What are you doing with that?|I was gonna tell you about it.

942
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:46,800
But I was afraid because you haven't|been thinking clearly lately.

943
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,559
Put the invite down|and no one will get hurt.

944
00:54:48,559 --> 00:54:50,480
What are you doing?|Put that down!

945
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,199
Alright, you're acting|like a lunatic.

946
00:54:52,199 --> 00:54:53,800
Put that down right now.|This is not worth it.

947
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,400
Speak for yourself.

948
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:03,679
Come on now, sweetie.

949
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,079
Sweetie...

950
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:14,920
Late for work, because|stayed up all night...

951
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,559
trying to figure out how|to apologize to Charles...

952
00:55:17,559 --> 00:55:19,920
without actually having|to say I'm sorry.

953
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,119
Forgive me balloons:|seventy-five dollars.

954
00:55:22,119 --> 00:55:23,920
Box of truffles:|fifty dollars.

955
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,920
Strip-o-gram and lap|dance: 125 dollars plus tip.

956
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:29,440
Yet still...

957
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:35,920
Katya, where have you been?

958
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,599
The Rice-A-Roni suits have been|waiting for over an hour!

959
00:55:39,599 --> 00:55:41,239
-Rice-a-Roni?|-Rice-a-Roni.

960
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:43,800
The San Francisco treat.

961
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:45,800
Rice-a-Roni.|The San Francisco treat.

962
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,920
-You better get in there.|-Think. Think...

963
00:55:52,079 --> 00:55:53,960
Thank you.

964
00:55:56,199 --> 00:55:58,599
Could you help me|with something?

965
00:55:58,599 --> 00:56:00,840
-Me, help you?|-Don't be difficult.

966
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,360
Alright.

967
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,079
You could have at least|said Pretty Please.

968
00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:06,320
Anyway, my wife and l,|we were dancing...

969
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,400
we had a good time|over there at Clover.

970
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,199
I know you've heard of Clover,|it's a great restaurant.

971
00:56:10,199 --> 00:56:13,639
But not well known|for their rice pilaf.

972
00:56:13,639 --> 00:56:15,599
-Thank God!|-Sorry I'm late.

973
00:56:15,599 --> 00:56:17,960
I had an emergency.|With my son.

974
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,280
I thought your son|was in Africa?

975
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,840
You want to visit?|I could arrange it.

976
00:56:22,559 --> 00:56:25,320
Rice-A-Roni...

977
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,239
the San Francisco Treat.

978
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,480
It's catchy.|And it's worked for you.

979
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,320
Probably still does.

980
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,960
But why alienate|the whole country?

981
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:39,519
So here's what|I'm thinking...

982
00:56:39,519 --> 00:56:42,880
Rice-A-Roni,|the New York treat.

983
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,519
Right there.

984
00:56:46,519 --> 00:56:48,679
The Chicago treat.

985
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,199
The Kenosha treat!

986
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:57,199
What are you getting at?

987
00:56:57,199 --> 00:57:03,119
Rice-A-Roni has been enjoyed|by Americans from the Mid-West...

988
00:57:03,119 --> 00:57:04,559
to the Rocky Mountains.

989
00:57:04,559 --> 00:57:07,079
And what America really|needs right now...

990
00:57:07,079 --> 00:57:09,159
is a treat.

991
00:57:09,159 --> 00:57:12,159
So your new slogan...

992
00:57:12,159 --> 00:57:16,800
'Rice-A-Roni,|the American treat!'

993
00:57:19,679 --> 00:57:21,880
God bless America!

994
00:57:26,519 --> 00:57:29,280
That's it?|That's your pitch?

995
00:57:31,119 --> 00:57:34,920
Do you have|any creative ideas?

996
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:39,079
It's Katya Livingston, of|course she has creative ideas.

997
00:57:39,079 --> 00:57:41,679
We're going to run a few more|things up the flag pole.

998
00:57:41,679 --> 00:57:47,400
Why don't you parade out some of the|other great, marvellous ideas.

999
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,119
The ideas that I have,|because I have tons...

1000
00:57:50,119 --> 00:57:53,639
There's something I'd like to|present, if I could, please.

1001
00:57:53,639 --> 00:57:55,400
It's not what we scheduled.

1002
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,840
Well get on with it.|Go.

1003
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:00,440
We're just warming you up.

1004
00:58:14,639 --> 00:58:18,159
Rice. It's gotten|a bad rap as of lately.

1005
00:58:18,159 --> 00:58:22,880
Lumped together with it's evil|stepsisters bread and pasta...

1006
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:26,119
rice is considered to be|just another carbohydrate.

1007
00:58:26,119 --> 00:58:30,000
A grain pushed aside|in our quest to be thin.

1008
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,400
But wait.|There's good news, folks!

1009
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:36,639
Rice is not as bad as its|carbohydrate relatives.

1010
00:58:37,719 --> 00:58:40,360
Your product, simply|distinguished from its relatives...

1011
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,679
a lower carb alternative!

1012
00:58:43,679 --> 00:58:46,840
'Rice-A-Roni,|the nice rice!'

1013
00:58:48,599 --> 00:58:50,360
The nice rice?

1014
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:54,199
The nice rice.

1015
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,039
We love it!

1016
00:59:23,039 --> 00:59:25,320
It's the first campaign|one that I haven't nailed.

1017
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,960
Nailed? Honey, you didn't even|have the hammer in your hand.

1018
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:29,159
You tanked it.

1019
00:59:29,159 --> 00:59:30,960
I'm sorry.|I don't know what happened.

1020
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,559
Let me see|if I can illuminate you.

1021
00:59:32,559 --> 00:59:34,280
While he was busy working|his ass off...

1022
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:35,599
you were at|the beauty parlor.

1023
00:59:35,599 --> 00:59:38,079
Or you were making 300 dollars|a month worth of phone calls...

1024
00:59:38,079 --> 00:59:40,039
to the California State|Correctional institute...

1025
00:59:40,039 --> 00:59:41,960
speaking to God knows who.

1026
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:45,360
Or you were taking a smoking|break and you don't even smoke!

1027
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:53,159
Yes. It's him.

1028
00:59:54,719 --> 00:59:56,360
Thank you.

1029
00:59:59,719 --> 01:00:02,519
As if this day|could get any worse...

1030
01:00:02,519 --> 01:00:05,199
Cuddles was murdered.

1031
01:00:05,199 --> 01:00:07,599
Poisoned.|Just like the goldfish.

1032
01:00:07,599 --> 01:00:10,599
Some idiot gave|that poor iguana prunes.

1033
01:00:10,599 --> 01:00:13,039
-Prunes?|-Yes prunes.

1034
01:00:13,039 --> 01:00:15,480
Who'd be stupid enough|to do something like that?

1035
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,920
Wait, Katya, didn't Eliza|give you prunes the other day?

1036
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:20,400
I only eat soup.

1037
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:21,920
Campbell's select,|of course.

1038
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:23,320
Did you have something|to do with this?

1039
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:26,239
Come on Lyle,|you know me.

1040
01:00:26,239 --> 01:00:30,280
I'm a humanitarian.|I mean I love animals.

1041
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,960
Katya,|I don't know you anymore.

1042
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,880
The Katya that I know went|to Stanford University.

1043
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,320
But when I called there and|checked with the Alumni office...

1044
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:38,440
do you know|what they told me?

1045
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,159
They said Katya Livingston|never even attended the school.

1046
01:00:41,159 --> 01:00:43,239
You were checking up on me?

1047
01:00:43,239 --> 01:00:44,960
I encouraged him to call.

1048
01:00:46,119 --> 01:00:49,599
Katya, you're fired.

1049
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,039
But I'm Katya Livingston.

1050
01:00:54,039 --> 01:00:55,639
And you're not going to talk|your way out of it.

1051
01:00:55,639 --> 01:00:57,320
I am the best|in the business.

1052
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:59,599
I sold shampoo to the bald...

1053
01:00:59,599 --> 01:01:01,440
sneakers to amputees...

1054
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,880
and contact lenses|to the blind.

1055
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,400
I am the Katya Livingston.

1056
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,159
Who is still fired.|Now go clean out your desk.

1057
01:01:10,159 --> 01:01:12,440
I'm going to have Security|escort you out of the building.

1058
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:14,760
Fine!

1059
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:18,159
But without me,|Liquid will evaporate.

1060
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:35,440
Sabelo. Mommy will|take good care of you.

1061
01:01:39,119 --> 01:01:40,960
That was Security.

1062
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,440
They're on their way up|to escort you out.

1063
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:44,719
I won't even have time|to mail these.

1064
01:01:44,719 --> 01:01:48,800
That's okay.|I'll do it for you.

1065
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:50,400
You hate me.

1066
01:01:51,559 --> 01:01:53,119
Maybe a little.

1067
01:01:53,119 --> 01:01:56,519
But now that you're fired,|you're not so bad.

1068
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,960
Can I just have a minute,|please? I bruise easily.

1069
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,280
I'll get them to send|your stuff to your house.

1070
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,199
Thanks.

1071
01:02:08,239 --> 01:02:12,679
Why don't you just keep this?|I never put anything in it anyway.

1072
01:02:12,679 --> 01:02:15,360
-Thanks.|-That's okay.

1073
01:02:18,119 --> 01:02:20,719
Do you guys work everywhere?

1074
01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,639
In reaction to losing|six figure job...

1075
01:02:23,639 --> 01:02:25,280
I decided that life|was too short...

1076
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,039
and celebrated birthday|early.

1077
01:02:27,039 --> 01:02:30,119
But since only one unemployed,|had to celebrate alone.

1078
01:02:30,119 --> 01:02:33,719
Loneliness led to utter boredom,|which can be very costly...

1079
01:02:33,719 --> 01:02:35,679
Richard Tyler gown:|Three grand.

1080
01:02:35,679 --> 01:02:38,400
Bejewelled Jimmy Choos:|one thousand five hundred.

1081
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:42,039
Have successfully bought couture|to party I'm still not invited to.

1082
01:02:42,039 --> 01:02:45,039
Getting in touch with|inner child: $22.50.

1083
01:02:45,039 --> 01:02:47,559
Due to lack of job and|aforementioned shopping spree...

1084
01:02:47,559 --> 01:02:48,960
can't afford to pay rent.

1085
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:52,000
Thank God I'm subletting and|name's not on the lease.

1086
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:55,360
Must do something to pull|self out of doom and gloom.

1087
01:03:11,639 --> 01:03:14,079
You in the middle?

1088
01:03:14,079 --> 01:03:16,599
Katya.|How'd you get in here?

1089
01:03:16,599 --> 01:03:18,599
I bribed the receptionist.

1090
01:03:18,599 --> 01:03:20,599
How resourceful of you.

1091
01:03:20,599 --> 01:03:22,920
I see you got my balloons.

1092
01:03:24,199 --> 01:03:25,440
I assumed you were|angry at me...

1093
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:27,199
because I didn't want|to go out with you...

1094
01:03:27,199 --> 01:03:28,519
because I needed to go out|with the other you...

1095
01:03:28,519 --> 01:03:29,960
in order to nab|the ticket to the ball.

1096
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:32,360
I don't have time for this.

1097
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,400
And honestly, you|don't have to explain.

1098
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,760
I don't have to explain?

1099
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,920
Of course I don't.|You tricked me.

1100
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:42,360
Tricked you? I was just having|a little harmless fun...

1101
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,760
and when I go to come clean,|you completely cut me off.

1102
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,559
Like you didn't have the entire|night to tell me who you were.

1103
01:03:47,559 --> 01:03:49,199
You set me up for this.

1104
01:03:49,199 --> 01:03:52,639
Please, but you know what? I'm|glad I didn't come clean.

1105
01:03:52,639 --> 01:03:54,199
Because then I got|to know the real you.

1106
01:03:54,199 --> 01:03:56,639
And the you that|I went to the park with...

1107
01:03:56,639 --> 01:04:00,639
is not the you who'd use someone to|gain entry into a ridiculous party.

1108
01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:07,079
But if you want the invitation|so badly, fine.

1109
01:04:09,719 --> 01:04:10,920
There you go.

1110
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:15,559
Wrong you.

1111
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:32,400
Regret not grabbing ticket|when had the chance.

1112
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,760
Almost led to something|more regrettable...

1113
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,480
a mall makeover.

1114
01:04:42,039 --> 01:04:46,000
Trench coat and fedora to obtain|unemployment check incognito:

1115
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,800
two hundred twenty dollars.

1116
01:04:55,559 --> 01:04:58,840
Silver lining to stormy|cloud: winning NEA grant.

1117
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:00,519
Now can afford to pay debts.

1118
01:05:00,519 --> 01:05:04,440
However, still have no boyfriend and|no way to get to the royal ball.

1119
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:09,480
Finally understand cliche,|'money can't buy happiness.'

1120
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,840
Stay tuned while we go live to|the socialite event of the year...

1121
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:14,360
and Melissa Rivers.

1122
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:17,159
At the Covington Castle|with everybody who's anybody...

1123
01:05:17,159 --> 01:05:19,400
is there right now with|Melissa. Melissa?

1124
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:20,920
Watch out San Francisco!

1125
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:23,400
The night you've all been|waiting for is here.

1126
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,519
The night of the Royal Ball,|and we are live...

1127
01:05:25,519 --> 01:05:27,159
Yes live|at Covington Castle.

1128
01:05:27,159 --> 01:05:29,960
Everybody's arriving early, there|goes the Sultan of Brunai and one...

1129
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:33,159
two, three, four, five...

1130
01:05:33,159 --> 01:05:35,559
all five of the favorite|women from his harem.

1131
01:05:35,559 --> 01:05:37,599
I don't think they've all|been ever photographed together.

1132
01:05:37,599 --> 01:05:40,280
This is a tremendous event.|Don't go away, we're...

1133
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:00,400
Katya? Baby?

1134
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:02,440
What are you doing up there?|We're coming up.

1135
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,159
Get out!

1136
01:06:05,159 --> 01:06:06,559
Put down the Vicodin down|right now!

1137
01:06:06,559 --> 01:06:10,239
I wish. But you used it|all for your damn surgeries.

1138
01:06:10,239 --> 01:06:12,519
Plastic surgery kind|of hurts, sweetie.

1139
01:06:12,519 --> 01:06:13,840
What are you two doing here?

1140
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:17,480
We're here to help|get you into the ball.

1141
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:20,400
Forget it.|I give up.

1142
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,559
Are you serious?|Are you kidding me?

1143
01:06:22,559 --> 01:06:25,800
Are you going to let those two ugly|sisters keep you out of the ball?

1144
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:28,679
I wouldn't serve those wretches|tap water out of a dirty glass.

1145
01:06:28,679 --> 01:06:30,519
They're nothing|compared to you.

1146
01:06:30,519 --> 01:06:32,039
They're not?

1147
01:06:32,039 --> 01:06:33,519
What happened|to the Katya Livingston...

1148
01:06:33,519 --> 01:06:36,480
who can talk a mad queen out of drowning|himself in a moment's notice?

1149
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:37,440
I don't know.

1150
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,360
Where's the Katya Livingston|who introduced me...

1151
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:43,079
-to my first net worth individual.|-I don't know.

1152
01:06:43,079 --> 01:06:45,559
Katya Livingston, you have to|fight for what is yours, baby.

1153
01:06:45,559 --> 01:06:48,400
And that means your job|that Scandinavian love god...

1154
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,199
and your social status!

1155
01:06:50,199 --> 01:06:52,119
Now get out of bed right now|and get ready.

1156
01:06:52,119 --> 01:06:53,519
I love those.|Those are cute.

1157
01:06:54,519 --> 01:06:56,920
You're right!|You're right!

1158
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,440
There hasn't been a guest|list or velvet rope...

1159
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:04,199
or moat that's ever kept me out!|I belong in a castle.

1160
01:07:04,199 --> 01:07:06,760
We are live at Covington Castle|from the Royal Ball.

1161
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,880
And I'm here with Nob Hill|socialite Frangipani Lee!

1162
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:13,800
Who you best know as ex-wife of hedge|fund billionaire Lane Foreman...

1163
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:16,079
ex-wife of of music producer|Randall Jones...

1164
01:07:16,079 --> 01:07:18,519
Come on, it's this way.|Don't push me.

1165
01:07:18,519 --> 01:07:20,679
Hurry.

1166
01:07:20,679 --> 01:07:23,960
I could walk through the front door.|I don't even have to go this way.

1167
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:26,639
Ex-wife of media mogul|David Bowler.

1168
01:07:26,639 --> 01:07:32,360
Of course most recently, ex-wife of|sausage heir James Lawndale III.

1169
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,440
-lt's so good to see you.|-lt's good to see you.

1170
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:39,719
You know what? I don't like|water, and I don't like...

1171
01:07:39,719 --> 01:07:42,400
sludge... look at all|this green stuff.

1172
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:43,880
If you helped me out we'd|probably get there a lot quicker.

1173
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:45,119
And ruin my manicure?

1174
01:07:45,119 --> 01:07:47,440
My hair is already frizzing. At|least let my nails look good.

1175
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,280
I know you want to|look good at the party...

1176
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:50,760
and I don't want to die|on the way there.

1177
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:51,920
-Where are we going?|-I don't know.

1178
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:56,559
-This dress is amazing.|-Janine Isrial Couture.

1179
01:07:56,559 --> 01:07:57,800
Now are you excited|to get inside?

1180
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:00,239
Is there anyone special that|you're looking forward to seeing?

1181
01:08:00,239 --> 01:08:02,239
I'm very excited.

1182
01:08:02,239 --> 01:08:04,559
Well wonderful to see you.|Thank you so much for stopping.

1183
01:08:04,559 --> 01:08:06,920
Have a great time inside.

1184
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:09,159
We'll be back with more live|from Covington Castle.

1185
01:08:09,159 --> 01:08:11,840
Don't go away.

1186
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,320
Can someone tell me if there's|anyone on the guest list...

1187
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:16,840
she hasn't slept with or is planning|on marrying and divorcing?

1188
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:20,239
You wait here and I'll meet|you over at the wall.

1189
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,119
Alright, come on, baby.

1190
01:08:38,119 --> 01:08:39,880
Come on, let's go. I don't want|to hold this thing further.

1191
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:42,279
Thank God I went|with a spike heel.

1192
01:08:42,279 --> 01:08:44,199
I guess you really|are a social climber.

1193
01:08:44,199 --> 01:08:47,039
It takes one|to know one, sister.

1194
01:08:48,239 --> 01:08:51,319
You better hurry, my wrists are|getting limper by the moment.

1195
01:08:51,319 --> 01:08:54,199
-You wouldn't.|-I might.

1196
01:09:05,199 --> 01:09:06,920
Alright, are you ready|to go in there?

1197
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:08,760
-Am I ready?|-You're fabulous.

1198
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:10,000
-Am I ready?|-You're fabulous.

1199
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:12,720
Now get in there and|do your thing. Come on.

1200
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:18,560
That would have been|quite an entrance...

1201
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:20,960
Who do you think you are,|Bjork?

1202
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,520
-Thank you.|-You're welcome.

1203
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:42,600
I need a drink.

1204
01:09:52,199 --> 01:09:54,000
Teddy, darling...

1205
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:56,039
since when did you start|doing catered events?

1206
01:09:56,039 --> 01:09:58,760
Let me guess...since you caught|pneumonia at Rain Storm?

1207
01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:01,279
Close. Whooping cough.

1208
01:10:01,279 --> 01:10:04,560
That's too bad. Now can we have|a round of Knight-tinis.

1209
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,000
I'll pretend to slip|you a twenty.

1210
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:09,439
Well thanks, Katya.

1211
01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:11,720
It's a party.|The drinks are free.

1212
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:15,439
Then, let's party.

1213
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:16,880
Thank you.

1214
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,960
I don't care if it is Chanel. Winter|white in July is unacceptable!

1215
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:29,119
At least it distracts|you from the face.

1216
01:10:29,119 --> 01:10:30,640
What about her?

1217
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:33,159
Polka dots, black socks,|t-shirt.

1218
01:10:33,159 --> 01:10:35,880
It's Eliza...

1219
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:41,000
Katya. You remember Steve?|The guy I puked on?

1220
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,720
Ladies, look|who I just ran into.

1221
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,479
I really don't need|this right now.

1222
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:47,920
I'm not stalking you anymore.

1223
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:50,760
After that night at your place,|they threw me in jail.

1224
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:55,560
I did a lot of thinking and|realized you're not my type.

1225
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:56,800
I am!

1226
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:02,079
Fabulous! Fergie|finally found his love!

1227
01:11:02,079 --> 01:11:03,880
To love!

1228
01:11:06,279 --> 01:11:09,039
My god!|Someone do something!

1229
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:15,399
You broke|the Curse of Namambo!

1230
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:18,920
Katya Livingston?

1231
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:25,079
What the hell|are you doing here?

1232
01:11:25,079 --> 01:11:28,840
Dove, you look fabulous.

1233
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:32,520
It's the biggest party of the season.|You didn't think I'd miss out?

1234
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:35,760
Cut the crap, Katya.|How did you get in?

1235
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:37,479
I climbed.

1236
01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:40,359
What kind of a person would|go to goes to such lengths?

1237
01:11:40,359 --> 01:11:42,279
An ambitious one.

1238
01:11:42,279 --> 01:11:45,039
Try a sociopath!

1239
01:11:45,039 --> 01:11:47,439
For years, you've sunk|to the lowest depths...

1240
01:11:47,439 --> 01:11:50,239
to claw your way|to the middle.

1241
01:11:50,239 --> 01:11:53,000
You lied. You stole.|You cheated.

1242
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:56,359
In fact you would do just|about anything to get ahead.

1243
01:11:56,359 --> 01:11:58,520
But I've got news for you.

1244
01:11:58,520 --> 01:12:01,800
You didn't spend thirteen|years at Chapin...

1245
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:05,159
and you never dated|a Vanderbilt.

1246
01:12:05,159 --> 01:12:06,840
So, no matter what you do...

1247
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:08,560
you're never going|to belong!

1248
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:10,199
I'm not going to belong?

1249
01:12:10,199 --> 01:12:13,960
I'm not going to belong? You're as|phony as your ski slope nose job!

1250
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,680
And if you could date|a Vanderbilt...

1251
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:19,520
then why don't you stop slumming|it with extras from the O.C.?

1252
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:20,520
Let's face it, Dove.

1253
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:24,319
You have always been jealous that|my boobs are bigger than yours.

1254
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:27,800
You'll never inspire|a designer...

1255
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:31,319
and you will never have front|row seats at a fashion show.

1256
01:12:31,319 --> 01:12:35,199
Katya Livingston,|you're a fake and a fraud.

1257
01:12:35,199 --> 01:12:38,479
And after tonight,|everyone's going to know.

1258
01:12:41,079 --> 01:12:44,720
-You want a piece of me?|-Do you want a piece of me?

1259
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,439
Hold my gold.

1260
01:12:49,279 --> 01:12:51,399
I didn't know|you were into that.

1261
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:59,119
Okay everybody,|the show's over!

1262
01:12:59,119 --> 01:13:00,119
Should we help her?

1263
01:13:00,119 --> 01:13:02,239
If we do, we'll be|social road kill.

1264
01:13:02,239 --> 01:13:04,920
Let's wait|until the crowd thins.

1265
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:07,800
I said party, goddamnit!

1266
01:13:15,079 --> 01:13:19,079
Ladies and gentlemen, can|I have your attention please?

1267
01:13:19,079 --> 01:13:21,119
On behalf of|Youth Aid International...

1268
01:13:21,119 --> 01:13:22,960
I would like to present|a short video...

1269
01:13:22,960 --> 01:13:26,279
to remind us all|why we are here tonight.

1270
01:13:26,279 --> 01:13:28,680
Over the years,|Youth Aid International...

1271
01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:31,079
has been connecting|Third World children...

1272
01:13:31,079 --> 01:13:33,319
to generous adults|like yourselves...

1273
01:13:33,319 --> 01:13:37,800
in our immensely successful|adoption program.

1274
01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:41,439
We'd like to thank|Youth Aid International...

1275
01:13:41,439 --> 01:13:42,600
Rice-A-Roni...

1276
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:47,279
and most of all, my adoptive|mother Katya Livingston!

1277
01:13:47,279 --> 01:13:50,000
We've all gained two pounds|since she sent us...

1278
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,920
the San Francisco treat.

1279
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:54,119
We love you, mommy!

1280
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:05,159
Is Katya Livingston|still here?

1281
01:14:05,159 --> 01:14:09,119
She's here...|Hi. Coming.

1282
01:14:10,119 --> 01:14:12,359
Hello, Dove.

1283
01:14:13,319 --> 01:14:14,720
Thanks.

1284
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:19,600
Katya, on behalf|of Youth Aid International...

1285
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:21,199
I'd like to thank you|for all your efforts...

1286
01:14:21,199 --> 01:14:23,439
in helping Sabelo|and his village.

1287
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:25,800
-Thank you.|-Julie, it's been a pleasure.

1288
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:29,159
I mean I've always been|heavily involved in charity.

1289
01:14:29,159 --> 01:14:32,119
And when my dear friend Eliza|asked me to sponsor Sabelo...

1290
01:14:32,119 --> 01:14:36,920
I knew that I had to do my part|in helping the less fortunate.

1291
01:14:40,319 --> 01:14:43,079
Actually, that's a lie.

1292
01:14:43,079 --> 01:14:46,399
I adopted a kid|for the tax break.

1293
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:54,079
See, I told you|she was a sociopath!

1294
01:14:54,079 --> 01:14:56,000
Security, can we get|rid of this nut job?

1295
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:59,119
Wait! Dove's right.

1296
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:05,399
I am a total fraud.

1297
01:15:07,039 --> 01:15:10,319
I lie about everything|just to get ahead.

1298
01:15:10,319 --> 01:15:13,760
I didn't graduate Magna|Cum Laude from Stanford...

1299
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:17,279
I barely made it out|of U.C. Santa Cruz.

1300
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:22,600
Teddy, I never submitted|your novel to the NEA.

1301
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:27,119
I won the grant and blew|half of it on this dress.

1302
01:15:28,760 --> 01:15:34,399
Lyle, I have shown up late and|left early a thousand times.

1303
01:15:34,399 --> 01:15:40,119
I am responsible for the deaths|of your goldfish and iguana.

1304
01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:45,279
Eliza, you have always been there for|me no matter how I treated you.

1305
01:15:48,039 --> 01:15:49,479
I slept with|the guy you puked on.

1306
01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,079
And finally...

1307
01:15:56,840 --> 01:16:01,600
I tried to use this great guy just|to get into this stupid ball.

1308
01:16:03,079 --> 01:16:05,840
I was so worried about being|in the right place...

1309
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:08,520
that I ended up missing|the best thing of all.

1310
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:11,399
Him.

1311
01:16:16,079 --> 01:16:18,920
Did I mention that I wear|designer knock-offs?

1312
01:16:21,960 --> 01:16:23,720
And...

1313
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:51,239
I thought the kid was gold.

1314
01:16:51,239 --> 01:16:53,000
Katya, the video|was beautiful.

1315
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:54,119
We can't buy press|like that.

1316
01:16:54,119 --> 01:16:57,000
We're going to be in every|paper from coast to coast.

1317
01:16:57,000 --> 01:17:00,319
And by the way, focus groups|loved the American treat.

1318
01:17:00,319 --> 01:17:02,199
That carb thing|was a total turn off.

1319
01:17:02,199 --> 01:17:05,640
Turns out rice has more|carbs than wonderbread.

1320
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,239
He lied about the facts.

1321
01:17:07,239 --> 01:17:08,640
Lyle, we'll work with you...

1322
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:10,479
but only if Katya|is our point person.

1323
01:17:10,479 --> 01:17:12,840
-She's your point person.|-I don't work there anymore...

1324
01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:14,960
and I really have to go.

1325
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:16,239
Katya, come on. Please,|think about it.

1326
01:17:16,239 --> 01:17:18,439
-I'll give you a nice desk.|-I don't think so.

1327
01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:20,640
Don't worry,|I'm going to work this out.

1328
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:22,920
You know, the advertising|game, it's a jungle.

1329
01:17:43,960 --> 01:17:45,600
Is this seat taken?

1330
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,840
Charles!|What are you doing here?

1331
01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:53,880
Long night,|big party, lots of drama...

1332
01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:56,159
-lt sounds fun.|-Not really.

1333
01:17:57,159 --> 01:17:59,840
I'm not much for big soirees...

1334
01:17:59,840 --> 01:18:03,079
or catfights.

1335
01:18:04,239 --> 01:18:07,399
I don't know.|I needed to think.

1336
01:18:07,399 --> 01:18:09,760
I didn't think|I'd have company.

1337
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:12,800
Well I climbed all the way up|the social ladder...

1338
01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:18,520
and figured out it was lonely.

1339
01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:20,880
So I needed to think too.

1340
01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:24,159
Gucci was closed?

1341
01:18:27,359 --> 01:18:29,760
So what are you|thinking about?

1342
01:18:32,119 --> 01:18:33,800
Well there's this girl...

1343
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:36,640
God, there's always a girl.

1344
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,439
Tell me about her.

1345
01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:41,159
She's a liar...

1346
01:18:42,159 --> 01:18:44,359
a social climber...

1347
01:18:44,359 --> 01:18:46,159
animal killer...

1348
01:18:46,159 --> 01:18:49,199
She sounds awful.

1349
01:18:49,199 --> 01:18:52,359
She's everything|that I didn't want.

1350
01:18:52,359 --> 01:18:54,760
Everything that's not|on my list.

1351
01:18:59,560 --> 01:19:02,479
And yet I can't stop|thinking about her.

1352
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:08,239
Maybe that's because|the list is misleading.

1353
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:13,760
And maybe it's because she's a|bunch of other things as well.

1354
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:18,680
She's complex,|and intriguing...

1355
01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:20,960
and full of surprises.

1356
01:19:22,319 --> 01:19:25,640
Like tonight. She did|this incredibly brave thing.

1357
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:27,319
It was about time.

1358
01:19:27,319 --> 01:19:30,600
Well some people never come|clean about who they are.

1359
01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:34,119
Especially in front of 250|San Franciscan socialites.

1360
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:37,319
But I didn't.

1361
01:19:37,319 --> 01:19:38,600
Not completely.

1362
01:19:41,159 --> 01:19:45,159
I don't know how much|more I can handle.

1363
01:19:45,159 --> 01:19:49,359
My real name is Katy.

1364
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:54,560
I like Katy.|Katy I can handle.

1365
01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:59,119
Now my turn.

1366
01:20:00,359 --> 01:20:02,600
I spray tan.

1367
01:20:02,600 --> 01:20:04,840
Really?|It looks good.

1368
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:06,560
Thanks.

1369
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:07,880
What else?

1370
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,199
I really like you.

1371
01:20:16,199 --> 01:20:18,560
I really like you too.

1372
01:20:31,600 --> 01:20:34,760
Cab fare from Covington Castle:|Thirty Five dollars.

1373
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:37,640
Ripping coture gown:|$85 dollars.

1374
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,560
Finding happiness that|has nothing to do...

1375
01:20:39,560 --> 01:20:42,800
with money, parties,|or designer clothing:

1376
01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:46,239
what do you know|priceless.

1377
01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:50,800
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